Wednesday, July 11, 2012

We've Matched!

My last post was asking for prayers for our upcoming meeting with an expecting couple....those prayers were answered!  We were asked to adopt their baby boy, his due date is August 1st!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Update...Calling all Prayer Warriors!

About a week and a half ago our social worker let us know that the expecting mother we have been meeting with is reconsidering adoption.

This week we received another call from our social worker, an expecting couple would like to meet with us!  They are currently considering FIVE families, so we are being very realistic about it (yet still very excited and hopeful).  It's wonderful to have some new found hope, and it's very encouraging to have been picked out of the profile book.  

We could certainly use your prayers going into this meeting next week.  

Sunday, June 10, 2012

5 Years!

Check out our family blog for Griffin's 5 year old photos, I love that little guy's personality!  A special thanks to my good friend, Mandi, from Amanda Rae Photography for taking them!

It's Time

After our miscarriages I was in no condition, mentally or physically, to get poked and prodded again.  But, now it's time.  We've recently visited with two women that found the answers they needed to have closure, to understand why their babies didn't survive.  Those answers found them through clinics in Chicago.  I've always wanted to know, but just wasn't ready to take the steps.  I'm ready now.  So, over the next several months, we hope to get some answers.  Not to try to have another baby biologically, but for peace.  It's all part of the process for me, so that someday I can sit in the rocking chair and the nursing home and have peace.  (And hopefully lots of great grandchildren visiting me with boxes of chocolate in hand.)

Other's Feedback, Comments & Thoughts

You guys will get picked right away!  You are such a great family!

Wow--I saw the interview on WCCO, your family is terrific.  You'll have so many opportunities to adopt!

How many leads did you get from the WCCO interview?

The encouragement is great, but it's hard, too.  See, we DIDN'T get picked "right away"....yes, I think we're a great family, but so are the other 59 waiting families!  And, the expecting mothers need to choose the family that is the right fit for them and their baby.  We can't be that for everyone, and the one that we are right for is still out there.

As for leads from the interview, that's not why we did it.  We realize that it could have lead us to opportunities, but it didn't.  Let's get realistic here....this is tough stuff, tough decisions, people's lives, emotions, many, many factors. There are not expecting women flooding the streets choosing adoption.

The reality is that I know some really great people that have waiting nearly two years to "get picked".  It's painful, frustrating and disappointing.  But, it's true.

Reality isn't always easy.  

As one adoptive mother told me, the only way you won't be a parent again is if you give up.  So, we can't give up.  But, we can keep our faith and hope alive, make the best life we can and enjoy the many, many good things we have been blessed with.

The Race

Yesterday Griffin wanted to go to Nonna and Poppa's cabin the minute we woke up.  We told him that he'd have to wait because I needed to get a run in first.  He wanted to know why, and I told him so that I needed to practice so that I would be ready for my race.  Then he asked if I was going to win the race.  I chuckled, no I wasn't going to win the race.  He asked me if I was going to be sad.  No, I wasn't going to be sad, I didn't think I'd win the race, I just want to finish the race.  Kinda like our struggle to grow our family.  I don't care about "winning", I just want to finish.  Then he asked, "What if you do win the race?"  I told him the truth, I KNOW I won't win, and that's OK.

I'm running the race for myself, it's on my heart.

One thing is for sure, I'll be a happy gal when I cross that finish line.  And, I'll take the blisters, sore muscles and exhaustion that comes with it.

Support Group

In January of 2010 I couldn't take it anymore, I needed to talk to other people like me.  Infertile people.  I needed to know my feelings weren't crazy, I wanted to be validated.  I joined a Resolve support group and it's been good for me.  I've met great women battling what I've been battling for years.  Most of them have been battling for years, too.

I attended the meeting last week, and it dawned on me that everyone that I started the group with has "resolved" their infertility in one way or another: adoption, birth or getting their arms around the idea that more children aren't in their future.  But not me, I'm still there.  Chugging along.  I'm suppose I'm making progress, it just doesn't feel like it.

I started reflecting on the money (close to $45,000), the time (over 3.5 years), the miscarriages (4), the failed IUIs (5), the months on infertility medication (12), the months waiting in the book (7), the tears (countless).  Still no resolution.  It made me sad.  I'm kinda "the last one standing."  Then I remembered the wonderful women I met that are happily holding their babies.  I am so grateful for that.  Someday I will get to join them (at least I keep telling myself that).

It's shocking.  I would have never guessed I'd still be going to meetings, unresolved.  I was SO positive that each next step was going to work.  I never would have guessed that I'd be the last one of the group standing.  But, here I am hoping that soon my only reason to attend meetings will be to support other women like me and tell them not to give up.  I've fought harder than I thought I could, experienced more disappointment than I thought I could endure, but I'm OK.  Truly OK.

Leaving Las Vegas

Our last stop prior to leaving Las Vegas was PF Chang's.  Lettuce wraps and Asian pear mojitos, need I say more?  Here was my fortune:
Bring it on!!

A Little Hope Along the Way

We were recently at a wedding and struck up a conversation with the couple, complete strangers, sitting next to us.  They had the college aged son with them.  We chatted a bit and it came up that we were a waiting adoptive family.  I'm not really surprised that it came up since I usually fit it into every conversation I can.  You just never know.  Anyway, that nice college aged son they had with him, they adopted him.  Through LSS.  How do you like them apples!?

100 Griffins

Griffin is pretty much obsessed with TV, which is pretty much hilarious based on the amount of TV Jamie and I watch...very little.  I asked him one day if he could have anything, what would he have.  He responded with 100 TVs.  I asked him what he thinks I'd have if I could have anything I wanted.  He responded with 100 Griffins.

If only he knew.

Fed Up and a Sign

On Friday I was simply fed up.  Too much to do, too much waiting, and where the heck was the baby that was supposed to miraculously join our family??  Where???  I was crabby.  

I think Jamie was getting a little fed up, too (probably due to me talking about me being fed up).  He told me that he prayed that we'd get more information and closure on Friday.  

I had calmed down by the end of the day, and was happily picking Griffin up from daycare early.  We were heading to the library, then to the new ice cream parlor in town.  A little Mommy-Griffin date.  

I took the turn to daycare and was shocked at what I saw.  A mommy dear and her sweet little spotted fawn crossing the road.  I had never seen a deer in Mary's neighborhood.  

This may sound weird, but deer have been a bit of a "sign" for me.  Years ago, before Griffin was conceived, I was frustrated with my inability to get pregnant.  I was on the way home from Bible study and begged God to give me a sign if I'd ever get to be a mom.  Within a minute, a deer and her fawn crossed the road.  Griffin was born about 10 months later.  

During my second pregnancy, I noticed that near the same spot was a fawn on the side of the road, dead.  I miscarried soon after.

When I was doing IVF I was driving home from a movie with friends and saw a field FULL of deer...Maybe 15?  16?  17?  I went in for an ultrasound and had a crazy amount of eggs....15+!

Of course there was the time that I saw the deer with her twin fawns and I still haven't seen my twins show up!  :)

Anyway, I thought that God was giving me a sign that there would be another baby in our future.  And, for those of you that think I am reaching for anything at this point, well, maybe I am.  But, if it keeps me going, sane and positive, I'll hold on to it! 

Dark Nights

Starting the night before Griffin's 5th birthday party, and lasting for about a week, I kept waking up in the middle of the night.  Sleepless.  I used to hate the sleepless nights, then I did a Bible study on Esther and found that my sleepless nights (and I've had lots during our battle with infertility) were best spent with God.  So, I prayed and thought in the middle of the night.  I thought about Griffin turning 5, and maybe that we were brought down this road to know that we did everything we could, but that we weren't going to be able to have more children.  Maybe we were done.  Maybe we weren't meant to be parents of multiple children.  The thought is crippling to me, but I feel like I need to get my arms around it.  It might be true.  As much as I don't want to believe it, we really might not get the chance to have another baby.  My doctor may have been right when we went to see him three years ago because we were concerned about our inability to conceive.  Maybe we had our one golden egg and that's it.  Our golden egg, Griffin.  I thought our doctor was nuts, now I think he was being realistic.

I laid awake night after night thinking about the should have, could have would have.  Should we have tried a third round of IVF?  Should we have explored other adoption agencies?  Should we have gone to Chicago for further testing.  Should, should should we have?  Like it's over.  But, it's not.  See we can still do these things, it's up to us.  But, it's scary.  Very scary.  What is going to work, cause us the least amount of grief, and allow us to bring another blessing to our lives.

Then, the sleepless nights subsided, which is good because it was turning me into a wreck.  I was groggy all day, doing my best to be my best, but I wasn't.  I was falling apart all over again.

When I was up one night, I thought I should blog about these dark, over pensive nights.  And, i'd call the post "Dark Nights".

We went to Church this morning and a guest did the sermon.  She talked about a camping trip.  A cold, wet, mosquito filled,week long camping trip with a sleepless, dark night that seemed to drag on forever.  Then a wet day with no warm showers and only peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to hot, delicious food.  Those days were tough, but at the end of the week they knew they would have hot showers and hot delicious food.  Things would be great again.  Just like life.  We have the tough, dark nights.  Boring food, too many bugs, lack of fun, no warm comfortable showers.  Then when we get those things wonderful comforts back, we appreciate them much more.  We are better people for enduring the cold, dark nights.

Then she said a word that I never heard during a sermon at church.  Infertility.  She said, "Some of you may be dealing with your cold, dark night right now.  Maybe it's divorce, death, infertility..."  I didn't hear much for the next 30 seconds, that word stopped my in my tracks.  I was completely choked up and I noticed that Jamie was, too.  I was so incredibly grateful for her uttering that word when I needed it most.  My cold, dark night will not always be cold and dark.  Some day we'll have our cozy bed, hot showers, and delicious food again.  The sun will shine down on us.  God is good.

I am so glad we were spoken to so clearly today.

And truthfully, although I am deeply saddened by our losses and our inability to have our family grow in the way we had hoped, our life is SO full of many blessings.  In between our meals of peanut butter and jelly and our dark nights, we have amazing family memories and mush to be thankful for.

Anything New?

We've been getting the question a lot lately, is anything new with our adoption process?  No, not a thing.  We're waiting.  It's hard to understand....but that's just how it goes.  There are people involved, emotions involved, decisions involved. It all takes time.  We truly want the right thing to happen, so the time is just fine for us.  It allows us to process, talk and think.  It's not the way we wanted things to go for us, but it's the way things are going so all we can do is make the best of it.  So, that's what we are doing.  Here's us making the best of our wait...

Fishing and enjoying the lake...

 Enjoying time together.....

Loving up our little man....
 Fun with friends....

 Exploring new things together...

Measuring a Baby

Griffin and I were at the library the other day.  I signed him up for the summer reading program.  He got a bookmark, sticker and could choose between a ruler and a pencil.  I asked him what he wanted and he picked the ruler.  I asked him what he would want to measure with it and he said, "The baby."  I responded, "What baby?"  He replied, "The baby we are going to get someday."

He hadn't mentioned a baby/our baby/being a big brother for about two weeks, I thought maybe he was "over it" and was moving on.  I guess not.  He's just waiting patiently just like us.  Or, trying to wait patiently.  It's hard.

How I've Changed

This letter came in the mail the other day, two or three years ago it would have made me freak out.  What did it say?  That they underestimated our escrow and that we owed about $1,250 more, so please detach the bottom portion and mail it in with a big fat check.  (It was worded slightly differently.)  What did I do.  I looked at it and thought, "Oh well."  That's it.  No freaking out.  It's just not worth worrying about the little things in life.  And, one more thing.  I am really, really glad we jetted off to Vegas prior to seeing this letter!  It might have made me think twice about spending money on a trip....and that vacation was worth every penny!

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Break from Reality

Life has been a bit overwhelming lately.  Everything is just so serious.  Or at least, feels so serious.  Serious contemplation.  Serious complications.  Serious decisions.  We needed a break from reality and we couldn't think of a better way to do that than hop a plane to Las Vegas for a few days with some good friends.  We had an amazing, relaxing, fun, stress free trip.....just the break we needed!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Brave Girls Club

A friend forwarded me some posts from a great blog called Brave Girls Club.  I appreciate the encouragement along the seems like people know exactly when I need some TLC the most.  I started getting the daily emails from the Brave Girls Club and, wow, do some of them really hit home.  I suggest you check it out.

Busy, and feeling a bit numb

I figured I better get a post up, even if it's just to explain why I haven't been writing much.  We've been super busy, my parents recently got back to Minnesota and we've been enjoying lots of time with them in addition to our normal schedule.  And, I've been feeling a bit numb by everything lately.  Disappointed that our dreams still haven't come true, wondering if they will and how, thinking about all the options and decisions ahead and not sure where we'll land.  I want the happy ending.  The cute chubby baby, the proud big brother, the relief of knowing that we don't have the pressure and challenge of trying to grow our family.....just the challenge of raising our family.  A miracle.

I do have lots of posts floating around my head that will get written down some day, when I have "free time"!

In the mean time, I'm living the profile.  Or, at least doing the best I can to live the profile.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Adoptive Parents, They Stick Together

I honestly can't believe how many emails we've received from adoptive parents that saw our story on WCCO or through a post on Facebook.  We received so much encouragement from them...families shared their struggles and poured their hearts out in these emails, I received links to their blogs and photos of their families.  Some even commented that they don't share some of this information with their friends.  I decided that adoptive parents are kindred spirits, they root for one another, support one another and have a special bond.  I am hopeful and feel very blessed that someday I will get to officially join the adoptive parent club.

I have several friend (some new and some that I have known for years) that have adopted and they've been amazing resources to me.  I've called some at the height of stress and they always calm my nerves, listen and understand.

I've also been fortunate to be in contact with some women that are patiently waiting to grow their families through adoption.  I spent quite a bit of time chatting online with one the other night, it was so great to connect and share our made me feel so normal.  (If that is even possible!!)  :)

Tonight I read through and responded to a few of the adoptive parents that recently emailed us.  I feel uplifted and hopeful.

A few comments that really stood out:

The only time adoption does not work is when you give up. Never give up as you just do not know when you will find your child.

To say we're overjoyed at what God has given us -- the opportunity to experience a birth and pregnancy AND adoption -- doesn't begin to describe our emotions.

I hope this offers even more support and bursts open your heart with joy and anticipation at what God has in store for you and your family. 

I'm thankful for these connections.

A Lesson from a Fish

Tonight Griffin and I were fishing off the dock at my parent's home and I caught a fish.  I yelled for Jamie to help.  I decided I better not try to take the fish off the hook myself....I certainly had no clue how to take a fish off a hook and didn't want to do any trial and error in front of Griffin.  I kept the fish in the water so it could breathe until Jamie got to us.  Right when Jamie got next to me on the dock the fish got unhooked and swam away.

It reminded me of everything that we are going through right now--I'm stressed, I keep working through the options, I keep getting help and support from others.....and in the end, just like the fish, I am sure it will all work itself out.

I think God sent the fish my way.  Yes, I was paying attention.

And, Then it's Over

On Sunday Jamie came home from his weekend away.  We talked about how blessed we were to get so much support and how therapeutic it was to share our story.  We truly hope that it helped or inspired someone (and based on the many responses we saw, I think it did).

But, there is a part that is hard.  See, we know we are "closer" to bringing our baby home, but we're still not there.  The segment aired and although things changed, they stayed the same.  A baby didn't show up on our doorstep, and isn't going to.  It's still going to be a hard road ahead.  We have to match.  We have to wait for our baby to be born.  We have to hope that the baby's biological parents don't change their mind.  It's going to be hard, worth it, but hard.

I felt like this was the end of our story being shared.  I considered asking some friends if they'd be willing to share our story on their Facebook pages, but I hate to be obnoxious and keep asking people to "market" us.  What's happened over the last few days shocked me!

I didn't need to ask people to share our page.  They did, many, many people did without me asking.  People I hadn't seen since high school and college.  People I barely knew but was friends with on Facebook.  People I didn't know at all! One one friend's page I saw that it was shared 8 times from her post, I clicked to see who shared it and I didn't know them.

Here were a few of the many posts that accompanied the link to our story:

Hey FB world! This is a story of love and hope for a dear friend of mine from Willmar/Spicer MN. It is my prayer that God can bless the channels of social media and help them in sharing the hearts and home with a baby in need of a Christian home. Please pray for the Heather Wolney Thompson family for us as well!

I can't help but share this story of one of my dearest friends. Heather Wolney Thompson and Jamie have a dream of growing their family but have been faced with many challenges along the way. Their story has been a hard one. A sad one. But also - Inspiring. They continue to have such an amazing attitude and hope, even through the devastating times. Their story and the reaction they are getting from friends, acquaintances and complete strangers is a reminder of all the good there is in this world. Something we too often lose sight of. Heather and Jamie, thanks for sharing your story... You are offering support and encouragement to so many others that are facing the same hardships.

Heather and I attended High School in MN together. Please take a moment and watch this video (especially if you have or love kids or starting a family). So touching. They also have a Facebook page "like" and share this. Support brings you a long way. Love you Heather! Good luck to you and your beautiful family.

Show your Mud Butt (posted on the Mud Butt Cloth Diaper Facebook page) support for an awesome fan, friend, and fellow adoptive family! Check out their awesome story that aired last Friday night. Let's spread the word! They are a great family:)

A wonderful couple who truly are as good as they sound. Please share their story.

I checked our adoption Facebook page just now and we have 470 likes.  I realize not everyone is going to go ahead and like a total stranger's Facebook page, so I think 470 is terrific!  Totally amazing.  

Support Rolling In

I was totally shocked about the support that came in through Facebook the night the story aired.  WCCO added a link to their website so that people could find our adoption Facebook page, I didn't expect that many people would track it down, but they did!  Before the story aired the page had 307 "likes".  By Monday morning we had 121 additional "likes", many from people we didn't know.  We received many emails and posts from families that suffered miscarriages, adopted children, had children many years apart, and even one person who was adopted--he thanked us for choosing open adoption.  I wanted to follow up with each person personally, and still have quite a few to respond to.

Here were some comments from complete strangers.  Amazing....

"Just saw your story on WCCO and had tears running down our cheeks."

"I just saw you guys on TV.  You were so calm (impressive).  Prayers continue that the right people/person also saw it."

"Just saw your story on WCCO and hope and pray that your family finds what it is looking for!  Bless you all for being so open and willing to do whatever is needed to improve the life of a child as your family grows.  Bless you all..."

"Tons of prayers coming your way on this journey."

It was so incredibly uplifting.  I honestly could feel the prayers of many lifting us up during our journey.

We also received one email from someone that wanted to meet with us.  At this point, we don't see that going anywhere, but it's encouraging that someone saw us and thought that we would make good parents for their child.  I felt so calm about it and told Jamie that I felt a lot of peace...since we had so many more people praying for us, I was certain the right thing would work out!

Our Story

Here's a link to the story that aired about us on WCCO.  We're so blessed to have John, David and the WCCO team help us share our story.  And, for Michelle Turnberg for calling John about our story.  AND, our sister-in-law for sharing our adoption page on Facebook, which is how Michelle heard about it!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Watching our Story

Jamie was out of town on Friday night; I was thrilled that my parents were back from Florida so that I could watch the interview with them.  My mom made a yummy dinner and although their lake place isn't where I grew up, it really does feel like home.  My dad recorded the 6:00 news and a friend tipped me off that one of the promotional pieces played then, we found it and watched it several times. It was surreal.  All of this is surreal!  In the piece, I was talking about how difficult our third miscarriage was, but how we received so much support.  It was true, and it seemed like the perfect 5 second clip to describe our journey.

We all piled on the couch and I did one of the things I do best, I fell asleep.  My parents woke me up just before the 10 o'clock news was about to start. I missed the popcorn party.  I started recording Griffin watching it, then put down my camera and soaked it all up.  I knew that lots of our friends and family were huddled around their TVs watching and supporting us.  I got choked up watching it, it was truly beautiful.  They did an amazing job of telling our story in a heartfelt, genuine way.  I couldn't have asked for anything better. It was longer than I expected and better than I expected. And, I have high expectations.  My parents were great people to watch it with--they were so positive and were happy with how the story was told.  Griffin turned to me ans asked, "Is that really what happened?" I am sure he was wondering where the rest of it was, the parts that were edited out.

Texts were coming through my phone like crazy, my phone quickly filled up and I couldn't get any more texts.  Jamie called. He was happy with the story, too.  He talked to Griffin. Griffin told him that he was on TV, too!

Here were some of the text messages that came in:

I am crying and can't stop.  It was great. Love you.

Great story on WCCO!

A and H are tracking how fast the likes go up on your adoption page!  :)

What an awesome story we just watched!  So proud of you guys for doing that.  Blessings and prayers to you!

It was an awesome story.....had tears with you!

What a great story! Griffin did such a great job, too!

Great piece on WCCO!

Just saw the news.  Makes me happy and sad.  Hope you get a good response!

That was beautiful!  I am bawling with a great big smile!:)  It hurts all over again, but there is so much hope!

We saw it!  It was great!

Loved it!  <3

Here's our little man watching himself on TV:

The Post Interview Wait

From my previous post, you know that we felt really good about our interview with WCCO. John and David made us feel really comfortable and it felt therapeutic to share our story.  We both felt in our hearts that it was the right thing to do, maybe it would speak to someone that needed to hear about another family that were making the best of a tough situation.

We thought the interview would play the weekend after it was recorded, and knew that they would call us when they knew it would air.  It didn't play that weekend, but the following Wednesday Jamie received a text from John telling us that it would air on Friday night at 10:00 p.m. WE found out at the perfect time, we were on our way to a family bridal shower so when people asked about when it would air, we could actually tell them!

Friday was interesting, it's definitely hard to focus when you know you are going to be on TV that evening.  I ran into quite a few people, received quite a few Facebook posts and received lots of emails from people that saw the promotional "ad" on WCCO.  I gathered as much info as I could about it so I could be prepared!  People claimed it sounded good, so I did my best to believe them!  And, you know lots of your friends and family will be watching. And, you have no idea what parts of the one hour interview will air. What will the spin on the story be?  More than anything, I just wanted it to be genuine, just us sharing our struggles and our hope. It's so very personal, yet we felt compelled to share it.

When I felt nervous, I reminded myself of the other hopeful adoptive parents that wish they had an opportunity like this.  It's really such a blessing.

All of that Time

Today I was at a Partner meeting for work.  One of the Partners mentioned goals....investing time achieving goals and becoming an expert.  I started to think about the countless hours I spent in OB/GYN waiting rooms, getting ultrasounds, online researching infertility, blogging about wanting more children, crying, going to infertility support group meetings, driving to appointments, filling out paperwork, talking to adoptive parents.  It overwhelmed me.  I thought about what I could have done in that time.  Become an expert in something, anything.  Learned to sew?  Became really good at photography?  Started a side business?  Got another degree?  I used that time to try to grow my family and some days it feels like wasted time.

But, I have to remember, it only feels like it was "wasted" wasn't wasted.  Each step of the process has brought us closer to growing our family.  It's made us stronger, more appreciative and helped us to have the best marriage we can.  It's allowed me to find healthy ways to cope with stress and to "to sweat the small stuff".      And, I have to see this journey as serving a greater purpose, not only to add to our family, but hopefully to give hope to others.

I have to admit, for a while I sat and wondered what my career would be like if all of the time I spent growing our family had been devoted to work.  Oh well, I have lots of great knowledge about egg production, ovulation and fertility drugs.

A Brother

This morning I was brushing Griffin's hair and I gave him a kiss.  I said, "You know that some day another girl is going to love you soooo much."  And he replied with, "But, mom, I want a brother."  I guess he has babies on the brain just like me.

Griffin's Fortune

Griffin received this fortune the other night. I read it an thought, "Big brother, perhaps?"  Now that would be an honor.

Sunday, May 6, 2012


I plan to blog my heart out on Wednesday.  Lots on my heart and in my brain!  We feel blessed beyond measure, the support we've received from the interview on WCCO has been amazing.

No, we still don't have a baby.

For those of you that didn't see my blitz all over Facebook, or didn't catch the news on Friday night at 10:00 p.m., here it is:

They did a beautiful job of capturing the true us.  I am so thankful for the opportunity to share our story.  I hope that it was not only therapeutic for us, but for others that have suffered through infertility as well.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Interview Scheduled to Air!

John, the reporter that interviewed us, contacted us today to tell us that our interview is scheduled to air on WCCO this Friday evening on the 10:00 p.m news.  He said that the piece turned out great.  They will be promoting it prior to airing it.  I am not looking forward to seeing myself on TV, but can't wait to see Griffin!  It will be fun to see his reaction when he sees himself on TV!  The interview will also be on WCCO's website after it airs.  We found out tonight that it may also air on a Fargo station on Saturday.  I'll keep you posted!  We really hope that it impacts someone (or someones) positively!!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Still Waiting....

I think I could have lots of posts titled as above, and after talking to other adoptive mothers, it sounds like it might be like that forever!  :)

We were contacted by the reporter that came to our home, he said that the story is edited and he expects it to play in the next few days.  He said we'll be contacted when they know when it will air.  So, we're waiting to find out, and answering lots of questions about when it will air!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

The Bribe

We bribed Griffin to be a good boy during the interview.  It's true.  And he was so, so good.  And we told him so, many times.  And he said, "I know."  I love that kid.

He wanted a beyblade like Hunter and Matt.  So, after the interview I drove him straight to Target.  He picked out his beyblade and showed me a cool toy thing that they can "battle" in.  Then he turned to leave.  I asked if he wanted that, too.  He couldn't believe it!  He asked if I was going to use my own money because he didn't have any more money.  Yes, I was.  Wow.  He was thrilled.  Then he saw a "Helk" (Hulk).  Could he get that, too?  Was tempted, but asked him if he was OK with just getting the two toys, he was.  He proudly walked through Target and couldn't believe that we didn't have to look for anything else.  :)  He verified that I had enough money to pay for both.  Good news, I did. 

He wanted to go to McDonald's for lunch.  He played with his beyblade and we talked on the way to lunch.  He said, "Mom, they didn't even ask me about the adoption."  I asked him what he would have said if they asked him about it.  He said, "I'm gonna get a baby!"  Maybe it's better they didn't ask.

We got our lunch and sat at one of the tiny kid's tables with McDonald's figurines on the chairs.  Yes, WE sat in them.

He brought his beyblade into daycare to show his friends.

He was so happy. 

So was I.

The Interview

The house was clean, and the coffee was on.  All we had to do was tell our story.  The reporter (John) and cameraman (David) showed up and we were playing bocce ball in the front yard.  They were going to film us doing that, I am thankful that Griffin wanted to play on the swingset.  Could you imagine seeing us on the news playing bocce ball??  Talk about looking like dorks!  :)  They filmed us playing.  They made us feel comfortable.  Griffin was great, his smile lit up as we gave him underdogs.  John and David raved about our lot--it is truly beautiful and today it was especially beautiful with the sun glistening on the lake.
We went inside and were interviewed on our red couch, one of my favorite places in our home.  We told our story.  I was reminded of how tough the journey was, but what it did for us.  We have grown closer, we're a team, even when we disagree.  We've learned to grieve with each other, we shared the same pain, and we worked through it together.  We appreciate our miracle.  We want to grow our family, together, in a unique way. 
I got a little choked up when I talked about our babies that I never got to meet.  But, I did OK.  I felt strong.  It felt right, sharing our story with a total stranger so that it could be on television.  I prefer being under the radar, but this felt right.  John was so genuine and caring.  He felt bad asking the tough questions, but I was glad he asked them.  The tough questions are the ones that help us tell our story.
Griffin showed them his new room, the room he will move into when the baby arrives.  He showed them photos of his cousins, his books, his bad.  It was so cute to see him give a tour of his big boy, big brother bedroom.  We looked at each other and I know we were thinking the same thing.  We are so proud. 
I was interviewed while I was on Facebook.  I showed them our site and talked about the support we've received. 
Typically after an interview or conversation, I mull it over and think, "I wish I said this" or "I shouldn't have said this."  I'm not really doing that (much) this time.  Maybe it's because only 60 seconds will be on TV and I can't control what is chosen to play.  Or, maybe it's because I'm just thankful my living room was clean.  Wouldn't you be?

Jamie and I talked this afternoon, this interview was therapeutic for us.  Sharing our story and hoping that it helps others. 

Someone is splicing and piecing together our interview right now.  Crazy. 

I feel so uplifted, like maybe our difficult journey can help someone else.  And, it makes it all seem worth it.

Here's a photo that our little man took of us today:

The Thompsons are Flying Above the Radar!

Our house has been especially messy lately.  We were super busy last week, I had a terrible cold and we went out of town last weekend.  So, OF COURSE, this would happen.  We got a call from WCCO on Wednesday around noonish asking it we'd be willing to do an interview on Thursday at 10:00 a.m.
Jamie called me and asked me my thoughts, we decided to call our social worker.  We're in a tough spot.  Not matched, but meeting with someone.  We don't want to offend her, but don't want to close doors.  We know that we want to help others struggling with infertility and adoption and we know that we can do that by sharing our story.  I called our social worker.  She was out of the office for the day.  Yep.  Then I tried her boss, she was out for the day, too!  So I called a very helpful and insightful adoptive mother.  Her comment...of course you should do it.  It's an opportunity to educate about open adoption, to share the positive side of open adoption from a family that truly believes in it.  I called Jamie and we discussed this.  It's National Infertility Week, what amazing timing.  What if our story inspires someone that just had a miscarriage?  Or someone that is pregnant and doesn't know what to do?  Or a nurse in a hospital that didn't know about LSS?

So, we agreed to do the interview.  I emailed the expecting mother that we've been meeting with to let her know that we were doing the interview and if she was comfortable with us mentioning that we met with someone twice and are waiting to see where that goes.  I'm sure it's not what she wanted to hear, but it's important for us to be open and honest.  I'm sure it's hard for others to understand....but we really respect and care for her.  She's doing what she can to make the best life she can for her baby. 

I am not going to lie, I cried a lot on Wednesday.  Are we doing the right thing?  Is there something we hadn't thought of?  Will we destroy the relationship we've developed with the expecting mother?  Will this create way more stress in our life?  Will the story be positive?  Will we communicate our journey effectively?  Will we be able to have the living room look acceptable by the time they arrive?  :)  Anyway, I had plenty of things to cry about.

Our social worker called me, she was concerned about what this may do with our relationship with the expecting mother we met with.  But, then we talked it through.  We weren't going on TV to tell people to please call us and give us a baby.  We were going on TV to share our story, and hopefully the right person will hear it--maybe that means one more baby in a positive adoptive situation, even if it's not our home, or maybe that means one more infertile family feeling like they will be OK someday because we are. 

So, we trudged forward, cleaned up the mess, dried off the tears and embraced the interview. 

Good thing my running buddy was free on Wednesday night because I needed some stress relief!

At the Park

The other night I took Griffin to the park.  I noticed that everyone there had two or more children with them, even the pregnant woman.  I also noticed that one of the men kept watching Griffin and I (not in a creepy way, just in a trying to figure it out kinda way).  Finally he asked, "Did you only bring one with you tonight?"  WHAT?  My response, "We only have one child, but we're in the process of trying to adopt a baby."  I followed Griffin through the maze of play equipment and noticed him still staring, I'm guessing he was trying to figure out if Griffin was adopted!
I don't know why I had to add the "we're trying to adopt a baby" statement, maybe so that he knows how lucky he is that he came to the park with 3 little girls in tow? 

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Math Equations

Jamie has a great way of putting a little humor into our daily lives.  This one struck me as funny, and smart at the same time.

Obviously people know that we met with an expecting mother twice.  Most reactions = EXCITEMENT!  But see it's not all that easy.  Remember we are dealing with PEOPLE and LIVES and want to make sure that the best decision is made for the baby (HUGE in our eyes), for the biological mother and our family.  And, the truth is we're a small part (although in some ways a HUGE part) of that equation!

I was telling Jamie that I received an email from someone that was excited about our potential situation and was  wondering if we were a match.

This is how Jamie described it.  It's like a math equation.  Math equations with one variable can be a little challenging to solve, but math equations with lots of variables are a whole lot harder to solve.  We have one of those math equations with lots (and lots) of variables.

Then he asked if I'd like him to respond to my emails.  Maybe I'll take him up on that offer.  Gotta love that guy!

An Adoption Story

We heard another uplifting family building story from a volunteer.  Soon after being at a Resolve conference, someone contacted her to see if her family would be interested in adoption.  That wasn't on their radar at the time, they had other "plans" of how to build their family, but they decided to follow up on the lead.  The contact connected her to a potential adoptive situation in another state, and sure enough, the situation worked out.  She commented that the minute she had her baby in her arms, she let go of the dream of being pregnant, and never had the desire to be pregnant again.  They have a great open adoption situation, and she said she couldn't imagine life any other way. I love happy endings. She encouraged us to tell everyone we know that we want to adopt, because you never know when a situation could arise.  Pretty soon I'll be at the gas station telling the people pumping gas next to me that we'd hoping to adopt.  Great.

Keynote Speaker

We had a break between our volunteer duties at the Resolve conference (see the last post), so we were able toe catch the keynote speaker.  I noticed that the speaker happened to be the volunteer coordinator for the event and thought that was great--I had been communicating with her about our volunteer shifts, she was down to earth and appreciative.

The first speaker welcomed everyone to the conference.  She talked about the benefits of the conference, what it meant to her, and clearly could relate to all of us.  She commented that the volunteers were all in lime green shirts, and that hopefully some of them would be in lime green shirts volunteering someday....the volunteers were the people that :resolved" their infertility journey and were giving back.  Interesting.  I guess in a way, we feel "resolved", not finished, but resolved.

The keynote speaker got up and told her story.  I had tears streaming down my face, so did many others in the room.  Jamie was choked up.  Probably because many parts of her story were OUR story.  The ultrasounds, the bad, bad ultrasounds of babies that are no longer living.  Hearing people tell you "It's probably for the best" when you can't even defend yourself because you are overcome with grief.  Finding out that the baby you miscarried is perfectly healthy.  Knowing that your body somehow failed your baby, even though you want nothing more than to carry your baby to full term.  Scared to try to get pregnant, scared to try not to.

She had three miscarriages.  All were very similar situations to ours.  She did IVF 6 times.  I can't even imagine.

She had the same blood work done that I did after my third miscarriage.  It came back with the same results.  Nothing wrong.  But like me, she KNEW something had to be wrong.  Why else would you not be able to carry multiple pregnancies to term?  She ended up working with a Reproductive Endocrinologist in Chicago.  One easy blood test showed that she had an elusive autoimmune disease.  It was challenging, but through IVF she carried two children to term.

Don't panic, people, we aren't rushing out to do IVF again!  But, someday I do want to talk with the RE that specializes in autoimmune disorders in Chicago.  It does bother me that I don't know why we've had the losses, but also important is that I think that something isn't right with my body and I think it's important to do what I can to make sure I stay as healthy as possible.  I owe it to Jamie, our little man and any future kiddos we are blessed with.  With her disorder, she needs to take an aspirin daily to help prevent blood clots, heart attacks and strokes.  So simple, but it could save her life.

After the session the conference attendees went to their breakout sessions.  I was helping to track how many  attendees were at each session, when I got done I found Jamie visiting with the keynote speaker.  It was so nice to visit with her one on one.  Very inspirational.

When I was listening to her speech, I thought that maybe one day I'd take the time to write out our whole story (of course without the grandiose ending that I'll have to add in later).

Resolve Conference, from a Different Perspective

Last year we attended a Family Building Conference through Resolve, it was a turning point with our journey, you can read about it here.  We divided up the breakout sessions and soaked up as much information as we could.  We left feeling less alone and hopeless.  It was a powerful day.

This year I spent a little time helping with the conference, with our outreach and follow up, I've had less time to volunteer that I had hoped.  But, I'm hoping that next year I'll be able to devote more time (hopefully between changing diapers!!).

We had a good friend's wedding in the afternoon, so we volunteered in the morning.  Jamie was in charge of greeting attendees and I was helping in the kitchen and running errands.  I got into the kitchen and soon after meeting one another, we started swapping family building stories.  Stories of IVF, IUIs, donor sperm, foster care, adoption filled the room.  Two of the other volunteers came from farther away than we did, they stayed in hotel rooms.  What a group of dedicated people!

I headed out to go pick up more coffee and Jamie commented that he felt so bad for people that were walking in with the same look on their faces that we had last year...despair, hopelessness, grief.  He pointed out that we walked in with much different feeling this year--positive, happy to be helping, hopeful.  But, that our circumstances hadn't changed.  We still don't have a baby.  But, we are OK.  We have hope and faith that the right baby will join our family some day, some how.  And, we know that if it doesn't happen, we will still be OK.  (BUT I really want to just focus on that sentence about the hope and faith that it WILL happen, thanks!)

Friday, April 20, 2012

Rambling about Outreach and Waiting

As we wait for more information, I struggle a bit with what to do about adoption outreach.  Do we post things on our Facebook adoption page and ask people to keep sharing?  Do we wait it out?  I don't want to hurt the expecting mother we met with, but at the same time, we know that nothing is "for sure" at this point.  I've heard from many adoptive parents that things can change so being open is good.

Today I added a few more photos to our Facebook page, and will update the our website at some point.  That all seems safe, from both points of view.

I am friends with other hopeful adoptive parents on Facebook and see their posts about adoption t-shirts, window decals, posters, etc. to spread the word.  Kudos to those families that are using unique methods of outreach to share their story!  At this point, that's not for us.  Actually, at any point I don't think that's for us.

I'll keep doing what I feel somewhat uncomfortable with, flying just above the radar so the word gets out, but I don't feel like our family is being marketed in a way that I don't feel like we are being ourselves.

We've had a busy week and I came down with the crud--UGH!  Tomorrow will be a good day--Jamie and I are volunteering at Resolve's family building conference in Golden Valley in the morning and are attending a wedding of some of our good friends in the afternoon--whoo-hoo!  It will be good to have the focus be on helping and celebrating with others!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Where are we at?

We're waiting.  I've heard from one adoptive mother that the waiting never ends.  :)  The expecting mother that we met with called LSS and will be completing paperwork (LOTS) and meeting with a social worker.  What then?  We'll most likely be looking at the paperwork and meeting with her again.  But, as we know, everything can change.  Quickly.  So, we are patiently waiting (that's the truth, not sarcasm) for the next steps and are trusting that the right baby will join our family, one way or another. 

How can you help during this time?  Pray that the right baby joins our family.  And, if you are really want to step up to the plate, pray for peace and strength for us, other adoptive families and expecting parents that are making difficult decisions.  

The Adoptive Family Network

The other day we got a new "like" on our Facebook Page:!/ThompsonFamilyAdoption.  I don't know her personally, but I knew exactly who she is.  She was in the waiting families book and recently was placed with a baby.  Do I sound like a crazy woman?  Probably.  Anyway, she has a unique name and their profile struck a chord with me because they also have a biological son.  They've suffered devastating losses, it truly broke my heart when I read their profile.  I noticed when they moved to the "congratulations" section of the list and was so happy for them!  In fact, I think I may have referenced it on this blog.

She read the article about us in the Fargo/Moorhead newspaper and wanted to reach out to us.  Amazing.

Over the past two weeks Jamie and I have been in contact with many adoptive families, their stories are all so different, but all have shared a similar ending: IT WAS WORTH IT!

When we had our miscarriages I felt like I was initiated into a club that I never wanted to join.  Now I feel like I've been blessed to join a new club, one with hope, possibilities, understanding and support.  It's like a group of kindred spirits.  Good stuff.

Wishing Things were Easier

It's April 15th and I am pulling together our information for our taxes.  Yes, I know, ridiculous.  I work at a CPA firm.  My husband printed his W-2s months ago.  But here I am at the last minute trying to pull everything together.  We have a cubby for tax info, the only problem is a bunch of other paperwork has been shoved in it. That's because we've been busy.  Busy trying to raise a child, keep up at work, maintain relationships and of course, spend countless hours trying to grow our family.  Filling out paperwork, going to meetings, reading books, updating our website, promoting ourselves (gross), and blogging so that I stay sane through the process.  I decided that the best thing to do would be to go through the paperwork rather than let it keep piling up.  So, I started sorting, recycling and shredding.  There were lots and lots of medical bills.  Lots of medical bills for three healthy people.  I kept reading the dates to make sure we saved all the 2011 bills in case we were ever audited (they year of our IVF expenses).  I noticed the items on the bills "first trimester appointment", "thyroid testing", "sperm analysis" (sorry if that embarrasses you Jamie).  The weight of the last few years kept piling up.  We've been through so much.  So much that I feel like things should be easy now, but they aren't.  We're still waiting and hoping and processing.  

I sat in church today and looked around at all the young families, so many have grown over the last few years.  Ours hasn't.  There was a very pregnant woman with a pew full of beautiful children, some of which she was yelling at, at least as much as you can yell in church.  And I thought to myself that I hope she realizes how blessed she is.  As I looked through the church I also spotted three women that I know that are going through painful divorces.  Yes, I have a lot to be thankful for.  And, the nice young man that always comes to church alone or with his grandma.  I'm assuming, but I think he'd like to meet a special someone.   Maybe they are looking at me with my husband's arm around me and our beautiful healthy boy thinking, "I wonder if she realizes how blessed she is?"

I brought the pile of paperwork upstairs to shred and filled up the bin.  I emptied it and brought it back upstairs and started it up again.  Within minutes it stopped.  The new $60 shredder just went kuput on me.  Seriously?  

It's one of those days where things just don't feel like they are going my way.  I just want things to be easier.  I want the dream of getting the random afternoon call that a baby was born and is waiting for us to parent him or her.  Or better yet, twins!  

But what we've found is that adoption isn't easy.  It's hard, for everyone involved.  There's grief and loss and sorrow and disappointment and trials and stress and drama.  Real drama, not high school drama.  Lives, we're dealing with the life of a child and the life of a mother and father that won't get to see the child grow up first hand.  And, there will be joy and happiness and dreams coming true and giggles and hearing "Ma Ma" least I think there will be.  I just didn't think it was going to take so long, hurt so much and be so exhausting.  

So there it is folks, the ranting of a waiting adoptive mother that wishes life could be easier.  It would be easier if having more children wasn't on my heart or if I could carry babies like most of my friends can, but those things aren't going to happen.  So, I'll keep trudging forward and keep praying that the right baby joins our family.  Soon, please.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Missing from the Blog Scene.

So, I haven't been on our blog much, although quite a bit has been happening. I mostly haven't been writing because we're processing things and I'm not quite sure what to actually post on the blog.  Some of it's confidential, a lot of it is emotional, and finally, we are uncertain as to where everything will go.  Based on visiting with lots of other adoptive parents, it sounds like this is all normal.  I decided it's important to me to write down all of our "baby story" so that one day our little one will know how he/she arrived to our family.  But, I think I'll be doing that in hidden posts until I feel ready and OK with posting everything "live".

So, let me talk about what I feel comfortable saying.  WCCO--where did that go?  We got a call last Thursday from the reporter saying he wanted to come out on Saturday.  Jamie called me to see what we should do, and in the mean time the reporter sent him a text that he needed to go on another assignment, but that he promised he'd get to our place soon.  We were pretty relieved.  We need some time to process some things.

We have met with an expecting mother (I met with her twice and Jamie met with her once).  There is a potential that this could be a match for us, but we still have a lot to learn and consider.  We also received a call yesterday from LSS about an expecting mother that would like to meet with us.  Today we found out that she needs more time to consider her adoption plans.  We knew she was meeting with another family, and it sounds like if she chooses adoption, she will match with them.

This experience has been an emotional roller coaster.

We've been very fortunate to have the support of other adoptive families and some close friends that have been on this entire journey with us, we are so thankful for that.

What we could use right now are prayers that the right baby joins our family--and that all of the babies in potential adoptive situations find the right families.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Social Media--Wow!

Here's a fun stats update!  Since launching our Thompson Family Adoption Facebook page two weeks ago:
* 243 people have "liked" the page (and more have stopped by to send us notes, too!)
* Our Facebook page has been "shared" over 40 times on friend's pages
* We have had over 250 more hits on our website:
* The article that Michelle Turnberg wrote for Inforum has been shared 290 time

It's amazing how quickly social media can spread the word!  We are really thankful to our friends and family for helping to get the word out about our desire to adopt!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Amazing Gift!

In a previous post I wrote about my heightened emotions lately--and the intensity I've been feeling since we started our outreach efforts.  Thursday was a down day for me.  I felt like we were at a standstill, the WCCO interview that was potentially going to be on Wednesday couldn't happen because they couldn't get the staff they needed to film.  If you've read my previous posts, you know how I feel about the interview--very mixed emotions.  SO very grateful for an amazing opportunity to share our story, very few people get a chance like that! SO very overwhelmed with the thought of cameras and a reporter in our home, for a variety of reasons.
Jamie was out of town and I called him to chat.  I told him that I felt emotionally exhausted and talked about my feelings of disappointment....the lull after the excitement.
I went online and posted our Facebook page and some questions about outreach on my online support group, I haven't posted anything for about six months, it was good to get back in contact with others that have been through this.  Then I hung out with our miracle, and started feeling much better.  I grabbed my phone to text Jamie to tell him that my mood hand turned around, and to thank him for listening.  As I was texting him, the phone rang, it was Jamie.  He told me that he just read an email from his friend, Michelle Turnberg.  She's a columnist for the Fargo/Moorhead Inforum, and her article on Sunday is about our adoption outreach efforts through Facebook!!  He forwarded me the article and I read it with tears streaming down my face.  It was great.  The timing couldn't have been better.  (Thank you, God!) We've had so many wonderful people help us on our journey to have another child.  I can't even begin to express my gratitude.  We're blessed.

Here's the article!

Because our sister-in-law, Jesi, shared our adoption Facebook page, Michelle saw it, which lead to the article. Isn't outreach amazing!?

Saturday, March 31, 2012

In God's Timing

I've heard this phrase a lot, actually I mean A LOT, in the past several years.  "Things will work out in God's timing." "Just be patient, your family will grow in God's time."  "Remember you are not in control, it's all in God's time."  I agree.  But sometimes I get confused.  For example, should we not have applied for adoption, because if we are supposed to have another baby it will happen in God's time?  Or, because we felt lead/drawn to adoption is that OK?  What about adoption outreach?  We were just waiting, our profile was in the book and we felt like at some point we'd get picked by the "right" family.  By doing outreach, are we not trusting God and His timing, or is He leading us to do outreach because it's how we will get matched with the right family?  See what I mean!?

I think I'll just go ride the wave (Thanks, Jodi!) and try not to over analyze this (If you've met met you are probably thinking, good luck with that!!)!

It will all work God's timing.

Monthly Check In

About once a month I check the LSS infant adoption blog to see the recent articles, events and stats they've posted and I look at web page of waiting families.  This check in I saw the family that I believe has been waiting the longest in the "matched" section.  I am SO happy for them!!

Intensity and Momentum

Since "launching" our Facebook page there has been a different level of intensity and momentum related to our adoption journey.  The quiet waiting period seems to be long gone, and my emotions are heightened.  The funny thing is that I'm not jumping at the phone to ring, but rather I'm contemplating ways to better share our story.  I want to keep the momentum for the Facebook page going, yet I don't want to bombard people with requests to like or share our page.  The potential for a TV interview is on my brain, which is an AMAZING opportunity, but I'm not going to lie, it's overwhelming, too.  Promoting ourselves just seems weird.  Uncomfortable, unnatural and humbling.  I'd really love for all of this to be easier, to be normal, to not have to work so hard for so many years to have a baby.

In the end I need to remember that the more people that know our story, the better our chances of a match.

In the past week and a half, I've had some interactions that have helped me to accept and embrace our outreach efforts.  I'm doing my best to tell myself that I should enjoy this process because it's the story of bringing our next baby to our family.

As I was nervously chatting with a co-worker about our potential interview and mentioned it to a couple of other co-workers that were close by.  Their genuine excitement helped me to realize that instead of having nervous energy, I needed to focus on positive energy.

After a shopping date at Target with my boys, I ran to the mall to pick up one more thing.  I ended up spending more time there than I expected (what a surprise!) and as I was walking out, walking in was a friend who has both a biological and adopted son.  We never run into each other except when we plan lunch dates.  It was so good to catch up with her and share our recent updates.  Watching her boys together was so, so, so inspiring.  She told me as they were walking in, the youngest was holding the oldest's arm and said, "I love you brother!"  Oh, I can't wait!

I had a lunch event for work today.  I walked in and saw a friend that I used to volunteer with and don't get to see very often anymore.  She told me that she loved our adoption Facebook page and that she had no idea we were adopting.  She commented that she couldn't imagine a more loving family for a baby.  So, sweet.

Thank goodness for these types of interactions!  They keep me as focused as I can be on what's important: the support, the positive and the possibilities.

I'll keep living with the intensity and will try to keep up the momentum, because in the end, it will bring our baby home.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012


Our outreach efforts have truly given us so much hope.  We're very inspired by the support we've received and are thankful to have friends and family helping us to spread the word.  I know some people have truly gone out of their comfort zone to help us share our story.

Within one week, our Facebook page received 184 likes and was shared by at least 30 people.  (!/ThompsonFamilyAdoption) I wish that if you liked the post I made, it automatically liked our Facebook adoption page, too, because I noticed some people liked my post, but not our page.  Oh well!  The important thing is getting the word out!!  Our adoption website has had over 200 new hits. It's encouraging to think that more people are aware of our desire to adopt, and will hopefully mention us if they know of someone considering adoption for their child.

We've received emails and posts from other adoptive parents giving us encouragement.  The common thread: It will be worth it!

The hope we've been given through our outreach came at a time where we really needed it.  Jamie and I are so thankful, it's put a new spring in our step.  Hope is a beautiful thing.  Knowing that many are rooting for us warms our hearts.

We've had some additional excitement, too.  Some "I know someone stories" that maybe could come to fruition?  And this, too: My AMAZING sister-in-law posted our adoption Facebook page on her site (with some very sweet comments), one of Jamie's friends from Dawson saw it.  She did some additional outreach for us and the next day WCCO called to see if we'd be interested in doing a story!!  We are still working out the details, but there's a good possibility that they will come out next week to interview our family.  It's been an emotional week--in a very good way.  No matter what happens, we're thankful for the opportunity to tell our story to others...for two reasons: I hope to bring more awareness to that nasty disease called infertility as well as bring a baby to our family.  I believe that we'll find the perfect match--a birth family and child that we're meant to share our life with.

A Treadmill with a Side of Hope

This past Saturday, the three of us went to the Twin Cities for the day.  Our first stop was to check out a treadmill on Craig's List.  After trying it out, we walked outside and the woman selling the treadmill said to me, "You mentioned that you two are adopting, I'm adopted."  Wow.  (Yep, we do tell EVERYONE!) We had a great talk and she told us that her older brother is biological, she said that when they'd get into fights when they were kids, she'd tell him, "They (their parents) HAD to have you, they PICKED me!"  I got a kick out of that since I had just heard a similar story secondhand from another friend.  It helped me to see that our adopted child/red will see that although their birth story and arrival to our family is different than Griffin's, it's very, very special!

When we came back at night to pick up the treadmill, the woman told me that she called her mom after talking to me and told her our story.  She said that they've added us to their prayer list.  It's amazing how God continues to lead us to stories of hope to help us during this journey.

As a side note, as soon as we got into the basement where the treadmill was, Griffin ran up to a cool R2D2 toy.  After playing with it for a few minutes, the boy that owned the toy told Griffin he could keep it!  R2's batteries were missing, so we weren't sure what he could do, but regardless, Griffin loved him!  When we put batteries in him the next day, he started talking, "walking" and responding to commands.  He's Griffin's new buddy, and we feel that it's held off us adopting a dog for at least another 6 months! 


Thursday, March 22, 2012

It made me nauseous, but I did it.

A few posts ago, I mentioned the story that my co-worker sent me about a family that were matched with their adopted child through Facebook.  And, I also commented about how scary that seemed to me.  I am not a private person, but I don't like attention.  I really enjoy being under the radar, sailing smoothly in my comfort zone.
I decided to get out of my comfort zone and created a Facebook adoption page.  I asked my super awesome sister-in-law Jesi (see, I am practicing, Jesi) to check it out and tell me what she thought.  She encouraged me to post it.  And, I did!  Then I posted on her Facebook page that I thought I might throw up!  Here's what I posted:

Jamie and I are the kind of people that like to remain "under the radar", but some things are worth getting out of our comfort zone for...our family is one of them. We are currently a waiting adoptive family, we're approved for domestic infant adoption. 50% of matches happen by word of mouth. We'd appreciate it if you'd help us spread the word about our desire to be parents again by liking our adoption page-Thompson Family Adoption: and sharing it with your friends. We're hopeful that we can help Griffin make his dream of becoming a big brother come true. Thank you!

I sat and watched all of the likes and shares come through and tears streamed down my face. People were liking my post, sharing it with others, liking our was amazing! It was so uplifting to receive support from so many people. What an amazing gift. In 2 hours we had 70 likes on our adoption Facebook page. When I woke up in the morning we had 100. Last I checked we had over 40. Amazing. People were checking out our adoption website, too. The link is: Pages that had 66 hits before I posted the page had 113 hits within two hours. It's great to know that if one of those people hears about a family that is choosing adoption for their baby, they will hopefully think of us. I received emails from people I have never met encouraging us, and from people I know that didn't realize we were hoping to adopt. Am I glad I got out of my comfort zone? You bet! Tuesday night will be a memorable one for me, I'll never forget the overwhelming feeling of support, love and hope I felt as the likes, shares and messages came through. A few other things happened due to our post--we received contact from another "I know someone" situation and it appears that we'll have some additional outreach coming our way thanks to people spreading the word! Stay tuned, I think we have some exciting things in store!

Seriously, what are the odds?

So, I went back to crabby on Saturday.  No idea why.  And, I HATE crabby.  But I was.  Poor Jamie.  Good thing he loves me so much!
Anyway, so I went on my crabby ways and a relative stopped over with his friend.  So I acted not crabby for a while.  We were chatting about her kids and taking about Griffin and I mentioned that we were a waiting adoptive family (As you can tell by now we seriously TELL everyone that will listen--who knows who will make the connection for us!?).  Then she goes on to tell me that her oldest son is adopted.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Randomly comes over to sprinkle hope all over me.  LOVE IT!  Then she tells me that they were considering adoption again when she miraculously, naturally got pregnant with twin girls.  Get our of town.  It was like the hope fairy came for a visit.  So, my crabbiness departed (it did make a sneak appearance later) and I was able to smile thinking of how happy and proud this women was of her three children that all arrived to her in miraculous ways.  I can't wait to see how our story unfolds.

I Know Someone...Emotional day

Early in the morning on Friday I got in the middle of two women announcing their pregnancies and talking about hearing their baby's heartbeat during their ultrasounds. Not exactly the kind of place I enjoy being. As you know, the ultrasound room is where we've gotten all of our bad news...that our babies were no longer living. I sucked it up and got out of the situation and did what every good woman would do, called my friend to see if she or I would be picking up mochas. It's hard....I am thankful to be a waiting to adopt, I wish it could be easier.  I loved carrying my babies in my belly, I loved Jamie rubbing my belly every night and I loved walking around proudly with my belly showing the world that I was going to be a mom. 

I was sipping my mocha and feeling a little down when the phone rang.  It was a good friend, she told me about a friend of hers that new of a potential adoption situation.  Talk about perfect timing.  It was just the glimmer of hope I needed to put the spring back in my step.

I emailed her our adoption profile and we're doing what we've gotten so good at...waiting!  :)  I'm sure it's a long shot, but at least it's a glimmer!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

At the Waterpark

Griffin, a friend, her daughter and I had a great two day trip to the cities. We did lots of fun kid things...including sliding, lazy rivering, drifting, tubing and splashing at an awesome waterpark. I noticed a family there with three beautiful children, one looked to be about 6, the other two about two. But the two weren't twins, the girl was Caucasian and the boy was African American. I started chatting with the mom because I figured she was a kindred spirit, ya know, another women that had been "through it" to grow her family. She told me that her oldest boy was conceived through IVF, they adopted the second oldest from Ethiopia, he was three and they brought him home last October. In the mean time they got unexpectedly pregnant-which they were told would likely never happen. She smiled and said it was a tough road, but they made it...she said it's kinda like hold your baby and the pain subsides and you know it was all worth it. She was so sweet and sincere. She wished us the best on our journey and thanked me for the nice chat. I looked over to see her two youngest hand in hand walking up the steps to go down a slide. Siblings brought together by adoption. What a beautiful sight.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Sitting on the Sidelines

I've talked a bit about this before, but something came up today that got me thinking more about it.  Through the adoption process, we've done just that, gone through the adoption process.  Jamie and I both like processes and rules....not to some crazy extreme, but in a good way (of course that's what I think!).  So following the process seems reasonable, smart, efficient and oh so comfortable.  After what we've been through I trust that something WILL work out for us.  I don't expect to ever understand why we lost so many babies, but I can understand that we've been brought to adoption for a reason.  I am thankful and grateful for the opportunity...on so many levels.

A friend, co-worker and mentor (literally) sent me this link today:

It put me in the uncomfortable world of adoption outreach.  Doing more than just telling people we are a waiting family, but reaching out to people.  Maybe through social media, maybe through ads, maybe through flyers.  It makes me feel so vulnerable....being an open book to everyone seems scary to me.  What about the calls from women that are scams....leading us on to think they are pregnant, but really want money.  What about getting a "match" with someone that hasn't had any counseling, will she change her mind?  What about all of the people reading about our life that are just reading it to be nosy...GASP!  I really want to avoid drama and disappointments if we can.  We've had enough of both.

Then the same friend sent me a devotional.  The message was from 2 Corinthians 5:7 For we live by faith, not by sight.  Part of the devotional read, "If you live your life too safely, you will never know the thrill of Me working through you."

So I started thinking about getting out of my comfort zone.

On the way to pick up Griffin today I started daydreaming about adding more to our adoption website and sharing it publicly (right now it's only shared through LSS....nice and safe!  I thought about a Facebook page and You Tube video.  It all seems so time consuming, I'd rather be spending time with my boys, blogging, hanging out with friends, scrapbooking, this list could go on forever.  But, if it brings us to our baby, then it will be worth it.

So, I'm going to start pondering what outreach could look like for us, and at the same time keep praying that we get a call.  THE call.  Soon!

P.S. Jodi I loved your post about your calls.  So exciting, fun and inspirational!

A Change in Body Image

For years I have been frustrated and ANGRY with my body for not doing what it's "supposed" to do.  I always assumed that getting pregnant and carrying a baby was easy--almost too easy!  Then I got the curve ball, the two year wait to get pregnant with Griffin....but it happened and my pregnancy was perfect and he was perfect, so I assumed the struggle was over.  Then you know the story,  pregnancies were difficult to come by, two of them costing us about $30,000 in one year, and every pregnancy since Griffin resulted in a miscarriage.  My body failed me when I needed it most.  DESPERATE to have another baby, yet I couldn't rely on my body.  I did what the doctors told me--lightened up on my workouts, gave up caffeine, stabbed myself with shots, popped pills, but still complete failure.  I was left grieving, out of shape, and worst of all, with an empty belly.

Ann and Jordi's wedding came along and I started to take "control" of my body again.  Eating better, exercising, taking care of myself.  I talked to my doctor about my blood sugar, overall health and disappointment with my body....on so many levels.  I listened to what he told me.

This year I started setting new goals.  Goals that were for me, difficult in my eyes, but obtainable.  One involved running.  My workout buddy and I started to exercise together another day a week.  We worked harder than before.  I connected with friends that encouraged me. And, if you know me, you know that I am determined and competitive with myself, that worked in my favor.

In February I ran 5 miles by myself.  Soon after, my running buddy (do you like that name by the way?) and I ran 6 miles...on a snow covered trail....HARD WORK!

On Saturday I decided to go for a run.  It was beautiful out and I felt great.  I started thinking about how much I used to hate my body, but now I am amazed with what it can do.  I never imagined that I would be able to run 5 miles, let alone 6!  As I was running, I was getting choked up, I felt like the anger I had about my body was leaving me and instead of negative thoughts I was filled with positive thoughts--what I COULD do instead of what I COULDN'T do.  I called Jamie to let him know that I thought I would run farther than I expected, so not to worry if I wasn't home for a little while.  I turned around and headed for home, thankful for what I could do.  I got home to my very proud boys.  Jamie made me banana chocolate chip pancakes and a fried egg and told me to keep stretching.  He always takes good care of me.  I left to clock my route and was excited to see the distance increasing.....3.5, 3.7, 3.8.....4.5, 4.6, 4.7, 4.8!  4.8 way!  Astounded (and a little ticked I didn't get to 5 miles--you know me!), I ran a total of 9.6 miles.

It was a very liberating experience for me.  I had no idea I could do it.  My body didn't fail me, it kept going.  And, I felt great.  What a memorable day for me, a defining point in my healing process.

We celebrated with family coffee drinks (a hot chocolate for the little man).  I called my running buddy, she was so proud!  I called my mom, too.  She was so proud, too, and my dad gave me one of his classic comments that always crack me up....  My mom: Ron!  Heather ran 9.6 miles!  My dad: Tell her to quit that!
I love it! :)