Our house has been especially messy lately. We were super busy last week, I had a terrible cold and we went out of town last weekend. So, OF COURSE, this would happen. We got a call from WCCO on Wednesday around noonish asking it we'd be willing to do an interview on Thursday at 10:00 a.m.
Jamie called me and asked me my thoughts, we decided to call our social worker. We're in a tough spot. Not matched, but meeting with someone. We don't want to offend her, but don't want to close doors. We know that we want to help others struggling with infertility and adoption and we know that we can do that by sharing our story. I called our social worker. She was out of the office for the day. Yep. Then I tried her boss, she was out for the day, too! So I called a very helpful and insightful adoptive mother. Her comment...of course you should do it. It's an opportunity to educate about open adoption, to share the positive side of open adoption from a family that truly believes in it. I called Jamie and we discussed this. It's National Infertility Week, what amazing timing. What if our story inspires someone that just had a miscarriage? Or someone that is pregnant and doesn't know what to do? Or a nurse in a hospital that didn't know about LSS?
So, we agreed to do the interview. I emailed the expecting mother that we've been meeting with to let her know that we were doing the interview and if she was comfortable with us mentioning that we met with someone twice and are waiting to see where that goes. I'm sure it's not what she wanted to hear, but it's important for us to be open and honest. I'm sure it's hard for others to understand....but we really respect and care for her. She's doing what she can to make the best life she can for her baby.
I am not going to lie, I cried a lot on Wednesday. Are we doing the right thing? Is there something we hadn't thought of? Will we destroy the relationship we've developed with the expecting mother? Will this create way more stress in our life? Will the story be positive? Will we communicate our journey effectively? Will we be able to have the living room look acceptable by the time they arrive? :) Anyway, I had plenty of things to cry about.
Our social worker called me, she was concerned about what this may do with our relationship with the expecting mother we met with. But, then we talked it through. We weren't going on TV to tell people to please call us and give us a baby. We were going on TV to share our story, and hopefully the right person will hear it--maybe that means one more baby in a positive adoptive situation, even if it's not our home, or maybe that means one more infertile family feeling like they will be OK someday because we are.
So, we trudged forward, cleaned up the mess, dried off the tears and embraced the interview.
Good thing my running buddy was free on Wednesday night because I needed some stress relief!
Showing posts with label helping others. Show all posts
Showing posts with label helping others. Show all posts
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Keynote Speaker
We had a break between our volunteer duties at the Resolve conference (see the last post), so we were able toe catch the keynote speaker. I noticed that the speaker happened to be the volunteer coordinator for the event and thought that was great--I had been communicating with her about our volunteer shifts, she was down to earth and appreciative.
The first speaker welcomed everyone to the conference. She talked about the benefits of the conference, what it meant to her, and clearly could relate to all of us. She commented that the volunteers were all in lime green shirts, and that hopefully some of them would be in lime green shirts volunteering someday....the volunteers were the people that :resolved" their infertility journey and were giving back. Interesting. I guess in a way, we feel "resolved", not finished, but resolved.
The keynote speaker got up and told her story. I had tears streaming down my face, so did many others in the room. Jamie was choked up. Probably because many parts of her story were OUR story. The ultrasounds, the bad, bad ultrasounds of babies that are no longer living. Hearing people tell you "It's probably for the best" when you can't even defend yourself because you are overcome with grief. Finding out that the baby you miscarried is perfectly healthy. Knowing that your body somehow failed your baby, even though you want nothing more than to carry your baby to full term. Scared to try to get pregnant, scared to try not to.
She had three miscarriages. All were very similar situations to ours. She did IVF 6 times. I can't even imagine.
She had the same blood work done that I did after my third miscarriage. It came back with the same results. Nothing wrong. But like me, she KNEW something had to be wrong. Why else would you not be able to carry multiple pregnancies to term? She ended up working with a Reproductive Endocrinologist in Chicago. One easy blood test showed that she had an elusive autoimmune disease. It was challenging, but through IVF she carried two children to term.
Don't panic, people, we aren't rushing out to do IVF again! But, someday I do want to talk with the RE that specializes in autoimmune disorders in Chicago. It does bother me that I don't know why we've had the losses, but also important is that I think that something isn't right with my body and I think it's important to do what I can to make sure I stay as healthy as possible. I owe it to Jamie, our little man and any future kiddos we are blessed with. With her disorder, she needs to take an aspirin daily to help prevent blood clots, heart attacks and strokes. So simple, but it could save her life.
After the session the conference attendees went to their breakout sessions. I was helping to track how many attendees were at each session, when I got done I found Jamie visiting with the keynote speaker. It was so nice to visit with her one on one. Very inspirational.
When I was listening to her speech, I thought that maybe one day I'd take the time to write out our whole story (of course without the grandiose ending that I'll have to add in later).
The first speaker welcomed everyone to the conference. She talked about the benefits of the conference, what it meant to her, and clearly could relate to all of us. She commented that the volunteers were all in lime green shirts, and that hopefully some of them would be in lime green shirts volunteering someday....the volunteers were the people that :resolved" their infertility journey and were giving back. Interesting. I guess in a way, we feel "resolved", not finished, but resolved.
The keynote speaker got up and told her story. I had tears streaming down my face, so did many others in the room. Jamie was choked up. Probably because many parts of her story were OUR story. The ultrasounds, the bad, bad ultrasounds of babies that are no longer living. Hearing people tell you "It's probably for the best" when you can't even defend yourself because you are overcome with grief. Finding out that the baby you miscarried is perfectly healthy. Knowing that your body somehow failed your baby, even though you want nothing more than to carry your baby to full term. Scared to try to get pregnant, scared to try not to.
She had three miscarriages. All were very similar situations to ours. She did IVF 6 times. I can't even imagine.
She had the same blood work done that I did after my third miscarriage. It came back with the same results. Nothing wrong. But like me, she KNEW something had to be wrong. Why else would you not be able to carry multiple pregnancies to term? She ended up working with a Reproductive Endocrinologist in Chicago. One easy blood test showed that she had an elusive autoimmune disease. It was challenging, but through IVF she carried two children to term.
Don't panic, people, we aren't rushing out to do IVF again! But, someday I do want to talk with the RE that specializes in autoimmune disorders in Chicago. It does bother me that I don't know why we've had the losses, but also important is that I think that something isn't right with my body and I think it's important to do what I can to make sure I stay as healthy as possible. I owe it to Jamie, our little man and any future kiddos we are blessed with. With her disorder, she needs to take an aspirin daily to help prevent blood clots, heart attacks and strokes. So simple, but it could save her life.
After the session the conference attendees went to their breakout sessions. I was helping to track how many attendees were at each session, when I got done I found Jamie visiting with the keynote speaker. It was so nice to visit with her one on one. Very inspirational.
When I was listening to her speech, I thought that maybe one day I'd take the time to write out our whole story (of course without the grandiose ending that I'll have to add in later).
Resolve Conference, from a Different Perspective
Last year we attended a Family Building Conference through Resolve, it was a turning point with our journey, you can read about it here. We divided up the breakout sessions and soaked up as much information as we could. We left feeling less alone and hopeless. It was a powerful day.
This year I spent a little time helping with the conference, with our outreach and follow up, I've had less time to volunteer that I had hoped. But, I'm hoping that next year I'll be able to devote more time (hopefully between changing diapers!!).
We had a good friend's wedding in the afternoon, so we volunteered in the morning. Jamie was in charge of greeting attendees and I was helping in the kitchen and running errands. I got into the kitchen and soon after meeting one another, we started swapping family building stories. Stories of IVF, IUIs, donor sperm, foster care, adoption filled the room. Two of the other volunteers came from farther away than we did, they stayed in hotel rooms. What a group of dedicated people!
I headed out to go pick up more coffee and Jamie commented that he felt so bad for people that were walking in with the same look on their faces that we had last year...despair, hopelessness, grief. He pointed out that we walked in with much different feeling this year--positive, happy to be helping, hopeful. But, that our circumstances hadn't changed. We still don't have a baby. But, we are OK. We have hope and faith that the right baby will join our family some day, some how. And, we know that if it doesn't happen, we will still be OK. (BUT I really want to just focus on that sentence about the hope and faith that it WILL happen, thanks!)
This year I spent a little time helping with the conference, with our outreach and follow up, I've had less time to volunteer that I had hoped. But, I'm hoping that next year I'll be able to devote more time (hopefully between changing diapers!!).
We had a good friend's wedding in the afternoon, so we volunteered in the morning. Jamie was in charge of greeting attendees and I was helping in the kitchen and running errands. I got into the kitchen and soon after meeting one another, we started swapping family building stories. Stories of IVF, IUIs, donor sperm, foster care, adoption filled the room. Two of the other volunteers came from farther away than we did, they stayed in hotel rooms. What a group of dedicated people!
I headed out to go pick up more coffee and Jamie commented that he felt so bad for people that were walking in with the same look on their faces that we had last year...despair, hopelessness, grief. He pointed out that we walked in with much different feeling this year--positive, happy to be helping, hopeful. But, that our circumstances hadn't changed. We still don't have a baby. But, we are OK. We have hope and faith that the right baby will join our family some day, some how. And, we know that if it doesn't happen, we will still be OK. (BUT I really want to just focus on that sentence about the hope and faith that it WILL happen, thanks!)
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