Support Rolling In

I was totally shocked about the support that came in through Facebook the night the story aired.  WCCO added a link to their website so that people could find our adoption Facebook page, I didn't expect that many people would track it down, but they did!  Before the story aired the page had 307 "likes".  By Monday morning we had 121 additional "likes", many from people we didn't know.  We received many emails and posts from families that suffered miscarriages, adopted children, had children many years apart, and even one person who was adopted--he thanked us for choosing open adoption.  I wanted to follow up with each person personally, and still have quite a few to respond to.

Here were some comments from complete strangers.  Amazing....

"Just saw your story on WCCO and had tears running down our cheeks."

"I just saw you guys on TV.  You were so calm (impressive).  Prayers continue that the right people/person also saw it."

"Just saw your story on WCCO and hope and pray that your family finds what it is looking for!  Bless you all for being so open and willing to do whatever is needed to improve the life of a child as your family grows.  Bless you all..."

"Tons of prayers coming your way on this journey."

It was so incredibly uplifting.  I honestly could feel the prayers of many lifting us up during our journey.

We also received one email from someone that wanted to meet with us.  At this point, we don't see that going anywhere, but it's encouraging that someone saw us and thought that we would make good parents for their child.  I felt so calm about it and told Jamie that I felt a lot of peace...since we had so many more people praying for us, I was certain the right thing would work out!

Sitting on the Sidelines

I've talked a bit about this before, but something came up today that got me thinking more about it.  Through the adoption process, we've done just that, gone through the adoption process.  Jamie and I both like processes and rules....not to some crazy extreme, but in a good way (of course that's what I think!).  So following the process seems reasonable, smart, efficient and oh so comfortable.  After what we've been through I trust that something WILL work out for us.  I don't expect to ever understand why we lost so many babies, but I can understand that we've been brought to adoption for a reason.  I am thankful and grateful for the opportunity...on so many levels.

A friend, co-worker and mentor (literally) sent me this link today: http://gma.yahoo.com/video/parenting-26594265/2-kids-left-behind-at-2-different-chuck-e-cheese-s-28584304.html#crsl=%252Fvideo%252Fparenting-26594265%252Ffacebook-adoption-cuts-out-middle-man-28331225.html

It put me in the uncomfortable world of adoption outreach.  Doing more than just telling people we are a waiting family, but reaching out to people.  Maybe through social media, maybe through ads, maybe through flyers.  It makes me feel so vulnerable....being an open book to everyone seems scary to me.  What about the calls from women that are scams....leading us on to think they are pregnant, but really want money.  What about getting a "match" with someone that hasn't had any counseling, will she change her mind?  What about all of the people reading about our life that are just reading it to be nosy...GASP!  I really want to avoid drama and disappointments if we can.  We've had enough of both.

Then the same friend sent me a devotional.  The message was from 2 Corinthians 5:7 For we live by faith, not by sight.  Part of the devotional read, "If you live your life too safely, you will never know the thrill of Me working through you."

So I started thinking about getting out of my comfort zone.

On the way to pick up Griffin today I started daydreaming about adding more to our adoption website and sharing it publicly (right now it's only shared through LSS....nice and safe!  I thought about a Facebook page and You Tube video.  It all seems so time consuming, I'd rather be spending time with my boys, blogging, hanging out with friends, scrapbooking, this list could go on forever.  But, if it brings us to our baby, then it will be worth it.

So, I'm going to start pondering what outreach could look like for us, and at the same time keep praying that we get a call.  THE call.  Soon!

P.S. Jodi I loved your post about your calls.  So exciting, fun and inspirational!

Where does faith fit in? How about God?

I don't think I've written a post solely devoted to God (or maybe I have?).  Which based on our faith, seems a bit strange.  I was reflecting on that the other day, then in dawned on me, it seems obvious to me that God has been woven into this entire process that I don't feel the need to write about it.  We trust that He will lead us through, and that we will be blessed with another child. 

We will frequently be hanging out as a family....playing, eating dinner, on a Thompson family adventure, and one of us will point to the sky and say "thank you".  We know God got us this far and will continue to lead us.

He's why most days I feel strong despite what we've been through.  If you would have told me years ago that I'd get through 4 miscarriages, a barrage of medical testing and treatments, administer nearly 100 shots to myself, and shell out thousands and thousands of dollars to do it--and still love my life, I would have thought you were crazy.  But, here I am, doing just that, loving my life.  (But, I'm certain it would be EVEN better with a baby in my arms!)

And it helps to have a really supportive, thoughtful and loving husband.  I'm just sayin'.

Comfort and Help

The other day I looked up a website my mother-in-law gave me.  She was watching CNN and saw a special on adoption, it talked about an organization called Help Us Adopt (www.helpusadopt.org).  It's a non-profit that provides grants to families with financial difficulties that want to adopt.

I read, and clicked and read and clicked.  It was started by a woman kinda like me, ya know, infertile.  And she has a blog: http://www.aninfertileblonde.com/.  I'm even kinda blonde right now, at least the strands of my hair that I paid to dye blonde. 

I couldn't stop reading and clicking.  And, my thoughts kept coming--how amazing it was that she did this--started such a great organization, blogged about her feelings. Sshe is COMFORTING and HELPING people, many people.  She's helping people achieve their dream of becoming parents.  Wow. 

I've always said that when "this" part of my life is done, I want to help people get through their struggles with infertility.  I'm not sure how I'll do it yet, but I'll somehow make it happen.  I want to comfort others and give them hope. 

I went to bed uplifted.

I went to Bible study the next day.  Our group is doing a study called Brave by Angela Thomas.  I love it.  Down to earth, real, easy to understand.  I started watching the video and I immediately felt like the session was written just for me.  Seriously. 

She talked about fear, the kind of fear that makes you tremble inside.  I know that fear.  She quoted 2 Corinthians 1:4-5.  To paraphrase: The purpose of receiving comfort is so that we may comfort others.  I thought of all of the comfort I have received through our difficult times, due to our faith, family and friends.  It has inspired me to want to comfort others.

She also talked about hope.  Having hope through adversity.  Hope.  A thing called hope. 

It's fun when things in life come together, and through the grief and challenges, I can somehow see clearly.  Even if it is just for a moment. 

Giving God a Little Credit

It seems like I've heard it all through our infertility struggles, and mostly losses.

"God only give you what you can handle."
"Maybe you aren't meant for more."
"God must be trying to tell you something."
"God has a different plan for you."

I am sure people are just trying to give me comfort. But, really, these statements get me more worked up than anything.

Only giving me what I can handle? Really, really? God knows that I will somehow manage to get through our pregnancy losses so He keeps giving them to me? Sorry, I choose to believe that God isn't a jerk. I was reading a magazine at my mother-in-law's home the other day and found a saying on a great sign, "God doesn't give us what we can handle, God helps us handle what we are given." Yes, and thank you. This is how I choose to think, for if thought the other way I'm certain I would be angry and bitter all of the time. Not just some of the time.

Aren't meant for more? Oh, and how many kids do you have? 2? 3? So, God thinks you were meant for more, but not us? Please explain. PLENTY of people in this world have multiple children and don't take care of them....even abuse them. So to hear that I wasn't "meant" for more is tough, very tough.

Telling me something? OK, I agree, I wonder if He's telling me that I can't carry another baby. But, then why do I want to have another one so badly? We were happily on the road to adoption, we felt firm and confident in our decision, then we find out we were pregnant, only to have it lead to another loss. If He was trying to tell me something, I already heard the message, remember? We applied for adoption, didn't sign up for another IVF and got pregnant anyway. So, then I start to wonder, did He want me to get pregnant so that I could remember the joy of pregnancy and that we should, indeed, try again someday? See, this one could spin either way. It's really mind boggling if you try to figure it out. So, I'm not.

A different plan. Plan. What plan? We threw plans out the door a long, long time ago. You know those people that plan a pregnancy so they are due at a certain time....yeah, those people? We aren't them. We have no plan. We have hope. Hope that our family will get bigger and that we'll have to stay up all hours of the night rocking a baby. Hope that Griffin can be a big brother. Hope that we can watch another miracle unfold before our very eyes.

So, people, let's give God a little credit. He's helping us to handle the tough road that we've been on. He's hurting right along with us.