Since we've been in the waiting families book, the whereabouts of my phone has grown in importance. Waiting, waiting, waiting for the call.
Sometimes at work I'll be plugging along on a project and will think "What if today's the day!?" I scramble to find my phone anxiously looking at it to see if there is a missed call with a mysterious number. Not so far, but some day I'm sure that call will come through.
In the mean time, if you call and I sound slightly disappointed, it has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with a mom's desire to be a mom again.
Oh, I still get jitters when the 612-000-0000 shows up on our phone from LSS. We completely missed the first phone call from Kaiti. I still remember EXACTLY how I felt each time LSS did call. Kind of like...unable to breath, stand or even think. Needing air...more air...shaking hands, body, goose bumps. TEARS. Oh my gosh. Just not being able to hold back the tears. hyperventilation. Not even being able to talk to Craig when I called him because I was crying, trying to breath, hyperventilating. He knew right away. Then it all happened all over again when I called my mom! ha!
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