When we started on the adoption journey I wanted to grow our family, I wanted a baby and dreamed and dreamed about the day that the three of us could sit together and admire our new family member. It was all about us having a baby, a bigger family.
Then we went to LSS training, heard stories, talked to adoptive parents and learned and thought much more about birth parents, birth grandparents, etc. With our happiness, will of course come their sorrow. If you know me, you know my heart, and their sorrow is so, so hard for me.
Recently, mostly due to this potential complicated situation, I've been thinking about the life we can provide our baby. The unconditional love, safety, health care, family adventures, future, faith, extended family and friends. Things that are givens to me, but many children don't have. I hadn't spent much time thinking about us giving a "better" life to a child, although people have mentioned it to me many times. I've had a hard time thinking that we can better care for a child than someone else, we're just average everyday people that can't seem to have more children. Our journey to growing our family has been so very painful, but recently I really, truly am feeling like we're being called to do this for reasons other than our own selfishness of having more children. I'm guessing that this piece is all part of the journey.
Better is so relevant isn't it? Our children would not have been love one bit less had they been raised by their birthmothers. Oh, they are so loved by them....and us. It would have been a different life...but there's no way to tell what better is when it comes time to having things. We definitely have been able to give our children the lives that their birthmothers knew they couldn't. Some of the reasons for which we were chosen. (Having a stay at home parent, living in a diverse community, our faith, our simpleness.) You will be amazed when you meet your child's birthmother/father/family...you will probably find them to be so much like you. Just in a tough place and making a tough decision and your heart will try to figure out how the heck are we supposed to celebrate and grieve at the same time. You are so in the right spot emotionally and ready for this. I very proud of you...and how you have processed this whole journey! :0) LOVE!
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