I was having a hard time on Monday morning. I was feeling like we had too much to do before April 21 (our adoption training day). We need to finish our paperwork, complete 8 hours of online training, get fingerprinted and gather more "junk" and price it to make sure the adoption garage sale is a success. To top it off, I was
visiting with a friend that gets ready at the Y the same time I do. I told her about our adoption garage sale and she inquired about the cost of adoption. I casually mentioned that it would probably cost between $22,000-$25,000. Her face said it all, she had complete sticker shock. She repeated, "I can't believe it costs that much." That stuck in my head. Really, I can't believe it costs that much either. Sigh. So. Much. Money. I know it will be SO worth it. But, it feels so unfair. We've worked so hard in school and our careers to get to where we are. Living paycheck to paycheck was a thing of the past. Then, we couldn't have babies like other people. The easy way. The normal way. The natural way. And, we love babies. We have so much love to give. So, after time, the money didn't bother me. It's just money. We can make more, right? What would I rather have, a lifetime of joy or a finished basement and fun trips? A lifetime of joy, thank you very much! But, on Monday it all bothered me. I wanted a pity party! I married my true love...and, our fairy tale came to a screeching halt when we tried to pursue the next dream....to grow our family. So, I had a mini pity party on the way to work. And, I pity partied a bit at work.
Then I got an email from a friend/co-worker/someone that really understands and offers me lots of encouragement and support. She commented that she read this blog and she was impressed that we were making so much progress so quickly. Really, we were? I didn't seem like it. My baby bump is gone, we aren't approved for adoption yet and there are SO many LONG and UNPREDICTABLE steps between approval and holding our baby in our arms. But, you know what, she is right! Three months ago we lost our baby, and here we are 3 months later still putting one foot in front of the other-- and still on the journey. We haven't given up. We ARE making progress. Wow, did that one email turn all of my thoughts around. Thank you!!
And, it gets even better. She said she'd love to contribute to our "junk to blessing" garage sale, but she gave away her "junk" to another garage sale that was raising funds for a great cause last fall. So, instead she sent a check to our friend that is hosting the garage sale at her home. 100% thoughtful, but also 100% unexpected and unnecessary--which I told her. She told me that she wanted to contribute. Want. It's so great to have people that want to help. Again, we are blessed.
My day and thoughts completely turned around with one two paragraph email. We are making progress and we are not alone. We have people in our lives that really, truly care. And, they show it. Wow. We are so, so fortunate.