Wednesday, April 27, 2011


One of the questions I get on a somewhat frequent basis is if we are going to try IVF again, after all we have another session paid for. I can answer that with a good, solid maybe. Pretty pathetic, huh? Here's the deal. I'm not ready to go through that again. Here's why:
1) I had my blood drawn for auto immune tests a while back. I cried and cried sitting there. It brought back too many memories of baseline bloodwork and pregnancy tests.
2) That would mean more time in the place where I found out our baby died. What if my baseline ultrasound is in that very room? No thanks.
3) I can handle stabbing myself with shots all over my belly. I can handle having my eggs retrieved. I can handle them being put back in. I can handle telling Jamie to buck up and give me another shot in my keester. I don't think I can handle the 2ww (2 week wait)--the wait to find out if we are pregnant. Then, the two day wait to find out of my beta doubled. Then, the wait to see if the baby made it to ultrasound #1, then #2, then #3. It all sound too painful. I don't want any more babies to die.
4) If we get pregnant, our adoption will be on hold. (Yes, I realize we haven't even had our home study, but we are emotionally invested in our unknown adopted child already). If we have a biological child, we can't adopt through LSS for a year.
5) If we do another IVF cycle, we will pay about $9,000 out of pocket due to meds, bloodwork, ultrasounds and embryo testing. $9,000 would go a long way towards our $22,000-$25,000 adoption!
6) After everything we've learned about adoption, including the good, bad and ugly, we WANT to adopt a baby (or 2)!

So, am I ready to cash in on our shared risk program and get 75% of the $16,000 we invested back? (Only 75% because we have a frozen embryo.) Heck no. Based on our infertility track record, another IVF cycle is likely our last hope for a pregnancy. And, gosh do I LOVE being pregnant (even though it now scares me, too!)! And, as you well know, I'm not into giving up hope.

So, for now, I'll keep giving the same answer: maybe.

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