While I was running the other day, it dawned on me that I was suddenly freed from the infamous 2ww that all of us infertiles experience. 2 weeks of waiting to find out if we are pregnant, 2 weeks of waiting to ovulate, and repeat. (Not to mention shots, pills, tears, etc. inserted into the equation).
Suddenly I am doing things that I haven't done in a long time: running 3 miles straight (wow did that feel good!), drinking a diet cherry pepsi without any guilt, sipping on wine with dinner. As I was running and processing all of this, I felt so liberated, I felt like me again!!
Would I rather be pregnant and feeling a baby kick in my belly? Absolutely. But, I don't have that choice right now, so I am choosing to live life to the fullest and enjoy things that I haven't in a long time.
I noticed a change in me when I went out with a group of girls last night, I feel like I am getting my old pre-infertility self back. A weight has been lifted off. I don't need to be concerned about medications and doctor's appointments. Instead, I need to complete paperwork and take good care of myself and my family--those things seem so much more manageable to me!!
So, for now I feel liberated. I hope it lasts. :)
P.S. Now the dreaded question of "How many children do you have?" doesn't seem quite as tough. My answer now is, "One, and we are in the process of completing our paperwork to adopt." Gosh does that feel good!