It's Mother's Day, and a great time to reflect on how fortunate I am to be a mom. It used to be a tough day for me, it seemed like it was a celebration of what I longed for, but didn't have. I woke up feeling positive, happy to spend the day with my boys, and my mom and dad. I received some super sweet gifts--an awesome green shirt that Griffin picked out and a nice jacket for running, perfect for this rainy spring weather. Jamie got my van detailed this week. Love my boys. My mom gave me a fun "wet suit" bag to use when I leave the Y with my swimsuit (attached to the bag was a cute homemade card signed my Griffin).
Then we went to Sunday school. Sweet husband helped in the classroom today. Loved that, too. He read the Bible story to the kiddos and talked to them about Jesus. Kids yelled our varying things, but it was the comment from my little man that made my heart stop. "Jesus took our baby." (Let me clarify that we explained to him that our baby died and now is in heaven with Jesus...and have reiterated that Jesus didn't TAKE our baby.) It's amazing how one little phrase can change your frame of mind. I was holding back tears, looked at my co-teacher and said, "Happy Mother's Day, right?" Although Mother's Day is a day for me to celebrate what I DO have--an amazing mother and the gift of motherhood, Griffin's comment forced me to think about the three little peanuts up in heaven. And I was trying SO hard to focus on what I DO have today. My heart ached thinking about how I never got to show them how much I love them.
Although Mother's Day brings up mostly happy feelings for me, I can't help but feel sadness for the women struggling to become moms. Friends of mine, and strangers. Women I've heard about from others that are in hope/disappointment cycle that infertility brings. Women in my support group. Women that I've encountered through inspire.org. Women that want nothing more than to be called Momma. My Mother's Day wish is that all of those deserving women will one day hear the sweet sound of "Momma".