This might sound pretty pathetic, but last year I had a hard time celebrating our anniversary. What makes it so pathetic is that I'm truly blessed to be married to him. Here's the deal, when I walked down the aisle to him I had a vision in my head of what was to come. Get married, have several children, drive them to soccer games and love the chaos. It obviously didn't work that way. Instead, about a year ago we were signing paperwork and great big checks to start IVF. Not what I imagined life to bring us. I knew life wasn't always going to be easy, but I certainly didn't expect the challenges to come so soon after getting married! And, for it to involve something that I always assumed was going to be easy. So, last year on our anniversary we went to a movie. I didn't want to go to dinner, I was afraid I would start crying.
This year has been more challenging than I could have imagined. Yet, yet we are still happily married. I've heard of many couples not getting through this, not agreeing on what to do next, if they should pursue more children or not, how much money is too much to spend. And, we're on the same page. Some times it's taken a while, but we get there.
So, this year, I want to CELEBRATE! Celebrate that our marriage has been through a lot, but we are still so happy together. Part of me feels like we shouldn't go too crazy and should save any extra money we have for our adoption. But, I also know it's important for us to take time for each other. We'll be better parents for it. So, we are thinking of a night or two away in Red Wing. We'll see what we come up with! And, I might start crying at dinner, but that's only because I know I am blessed beyond belief to be married to someone who has been so nurturing, kind, supportive and thoughtful during this struggle. And, he's right by my side, fighting along with me.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
My Take on Paperwork
I love scrapbooking...it's so fun to look back on all of our great memories and preserve them for the future. Griffin will probably have no interest in dragging 20 scrapbooks with him to his home someday, but I am sure I will enjoy sharing each moment with my fellow residents at the nursing home.
The writing part of the adoption paperwork is a bit like scrapbooking. I've been reliving my life stage by stage for the last 2.5 hours+ (and I still have MANY more questions to answer....and I PROMISE I am not being long winded).
It was fun to write about my childhood. I had to call my mom to check on how I was disciplined....I don't really recall getting punished much. I hated disappointing my parents. My mom reminded me that if Chris and I weren't getting along she'd sit us across from each other at the little kid's table and in no time we'd be giggling. I can't wait for Griffin to have a sibling so I can test that out! She also told me that once they took the door off my room for slamming it too many times! I don't remember that, but I don't doubt one bit that in my pre-teen years I was a door slammer.
I had to write about my favorite memories as a child--I talked about "Wolney Snow Day"--the day each year that there was lots of snow, but school was still on. My parents would keep us home from school, my dad would stay home from work and we would watch movies and eat pizza in our PJs. I also loved "Heather Day" and "Chris Day" when we got to choose the plans for the day for our whole family.
I also got to write about my friendships (I am blessed with great friends), and about how Jamie and I met....and every other detail about our relationship! I was able to write my observations of him as a father and felt like I could go on forever about how patient, understanding, loving and supportive he is.
I had to write about tragedy, loss and how I dealt with it. Tears were flowing then. But through the tears, I was reminded of the outpouring of support we have had through each tough moment in life.
Overall, this part of the paperwork is actually fun--reliving the good times (and rough times) and being thankful for the good life we have.
OK, back at it!
Just checked--I have 29 questions to go (plus financial info, etc.) and completed 26. Jamie only has 9 left to go (he worked on his for 4 hours yesterday)!
The writing part of the adoption paperwork is a bit like scrapbooking. I've been reliving my life stage by stage for the last 2.5 hours+ (and I still have MANY more questions to answer....and I PROMISE I am not being long winded).
It was fun to write about my childhood. I had to call my mom to check on how I was disciplined....I don't really recall getting punished much. I hated disappointing my parents. My mom reminded me that if Chris and I weren't getting along she'd sit us across from each other at the little kid's table and in no time we'd be giggling. I can't wait for Griffin to have a sibling so I can test that out! She also told me that once they took the door off my room for slamming it too many times! I don't remember that, but I don't doubt one bit that in my pre-teen years I was a door slammer.
I had to write about my favorite memories as a child--I talked about "Wolney Snow Day"--the day each year that there was lots of snow, but school was still on. My parents would keep us home from school, my dad would stay home from work and we would watch movies and eat pizza in our PJs. I also loved "Heather Day" and "Chris Day" when we got to choose the plans for the day for our whole family.
I also got to write about my friendships (I am blessed with great friends), and about how Jamie and I met....and every other detail about our relationship! I was able to write my observations of him as a father and felt like I could go on forever about how patient, understanding, loving and supportive he is.
I had to write about tragedy, loss and how I dealt with it. Tears were flowing then. But through the tears, I was reminded of the outpouring of support we have had through each tough moment in life.
Overall, this part of the paperwork is actually fun--reliving the good times (and rough times) and being thankful for the good life we have.
OK, back at it!
Just checked--I have 29 questions to go (plus financial info, etc.) and completed 26. Jamie only has 9 left to go (he worked on his for 4 hours yesterday)!
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