Tomorrow is the anniversary of us finding out that our fourth baby was no longer alive....after two beautiful, normal ultrasounds and nearly 14 weeks of carrying him. At dinner tonight I shed a few tears thinking that a year ago I was packing up the pink and blue cookies that some of my friends helped me bake so that I could announce our pregnancy at work. I was living a lie, but I didn't know it. I thought my baby was alive and growing in me, but he had passed away, maybe even a week before I knew it.
And, so I will remember this: the amazing support from my co-workers, family and dear friends. They helped to show me that I am much stronger than I thought I was.
And, that we have each other. One foot in front of the other, that's how we got through those first few days. The day after my D & C we took Griffin to the Children's Museum. It was tough, but we made the best of a bad situation.
We're still waiting, but thankfully we still have hope.
In the photo of the care basket from my co-workers is a calendar that's on my desk at home. On Jan. 10 the blessing reads:
"A longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12. Griffin fulfilled my longing to be a mother, and I am sure there will be a sweet baby that will fulfill my longing to be a mother again.
