Jealous of a Belly.

Sometimes I get hit harder with the disappointment that we can't easily have children.  This happened the other day at the county fair.  Of course, I am THANKFUL that we are blessed with Griffin, but that doesn't mean that I can completely stop my feelings of wishing we had more children...it's something I've dreamed about my whole life--having kidS. 

We spent quite a bit of time in the Midway--Griffin's favorite place.  There are tons of rides and corn dogs, pretty much all he needs for pure bliss!  Of course there were lots of families there, families with 2, 3, 4 kids.  And that really didn't bother me.  It was one beautiful pregnant belly that bothered me.  And, I'm not really sure why that one bugged me, but it did.  She really looked like a nice person, someone I would be friends with.  And, there were other bellies, but they didn't bother me.  Maybe it was because she seemed a little like me, just an average gal.  Maybe it was because she was at the perfect cute belly stage.  Maybe it was because she wasn't flaunting it at all, it just looked so natural on her.  I looked over at Jamie and said, "Sometimes I just don't like pregnant people."  And Jamie said, "That's ok, God loves you anyway."  He's a hoot!

Soon after spotting the lady with her beautiful belly, I noticed a warning sign on a ride.  I couldn't help but take a photo. 

Funny how that works out....

Our last adoption garage sale brought in $1,000, so our grand total for our adoption garage sales was $2,500!  (Of course, this is thanks to LOTS of donations and LOTS of help from friends and family!)  Anyway, the invoice came for the next fees for our adoption...and it was for $1,000.  I love it when stuff works out like that! 

Marketing Ourselves

So, we're approved.  Now for the part that I thought would be easy, but it turns out that it's really not all that easy.  Marketing ourselves.  It's so hard, I want to show our lives to potential birth mothers, but it feels so weird, almost like we are "showing off"--look at us, look at our house, look at our son, pick us!  And, it's hard to put our life into a few web pages or scrapbook profiles.  What's important?  What's not?  What is too much information?  What's not enough?

I'm going with just trying to tell our story.  The story of us--the Thompson family and our family adventures.  And, I figure the right person will like us, right?  Someone will say, "Look, they let their kid get dirty, I'll pick them." or "I love it that they camped in the backyard, I want my kid to grow up camping in the back yard." or "Look at that mom, she clearly doesn't shower on her days off so she can spend more time with her kid, I'll pick them."  Ok, maybe not.  But, hopefully our real everyday life will identify with someone that will choose us. 

One thing is for sure....this process makes me feel very vulnerable.  I want people to like us.  We want another baby to love, but to do that someone has to like us.  And, like us enough that they want us to raise their child.  That's a lot of like! 
I started an adoption website, I'm creating it through Shutterfly.  It's not likely to come up in searches, but that's ok with me.  We can spread the site by word of mouth, and to me that just feels safer. 

I've spend HOURS looking though our photos from the last year to include on the site.  I LOVE photos and I take way too many.  But, I'm glad I have a lot to chose from and am hoping that our photos speak to an expecting mother that would like us to parent her baby.

The other day we were out on the boat.  It was a beautiful, calm day.  Jamie was fishing, Griffin was napping and I was writing.  So, quite a bit of the info for the website is right here:

I love that journal.  I bought it at Marshall's without a real plan for it.  I just thought it might be handy.  I was right!  I jot down thoughts, notes, adoption info and things to blog. 

If you want to see the start of our website, here it is: http://thompsonfamilyadopts.shutterfly.com/.  Just keep in mind that I've only just begun.  I have lots to add and edit!  I'll let you know when I make lots of progress and take those notes from my journal and add them to the website!

And, I'll be looking for people that are willing to proof the site for me and offer suggestions.  Feel free to sign up! 

Thanks everyone for your support....we have a great team of family and friends rooting for us.

Be Nice to Your Kids

I had to get a few things at the store the other day and was behind two people in line.  A woman with 4 children and a man.  They were getting things separately, but were together.  The woman bought some things, paid for them, then took a large flat screen TV out of her cart to pay for it.  Her credit card didn't go though.  She got mad.  She asked for the man's phone.  The kids were restless.  Tt was a hot summer day and I am sure the last place they wanted to be was the store.  She got really mad at the little boy, about 4, he was the second oldest.  She started yelling, grabbed him hard, pulled him and he started crying.  Hard.  She kept yelling and grabbed him again.  My heart broke.  The man wasn't any help.  I gave a look of compassion to the boy.  I started to get hot and tremble a bit.  Thoughts crossed my mind.  I dreamed of the things I wanted to say:

"Hi, I love children, but can't have any more.  You are so blessed to have 4.  Could you please be nice to the them?"

"Hi, I've spent $30,000 on fertility treatments and have 3 miscarriages to show for it.  Please appreciate the beautiful children you have."

"Hi, I'd do about anything (and feel like I have) to have 4 beautiful children.  Be thankful for yours."

"Hi, if you lay another finger on that sweet little boy, you will regret it."

Instead of saying anything I was quiet.  I felt flushed, said a prayer for those sweet children and the upset mother, and left with my bags.  I felt unsettled for quite some time. 


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A few weeks ago I was at Como Zoo with my good friend and her children.  We were having a great day.  I went into the restroom and heard a mom berating her 9ish year old daughter.  "Going on this field trip was the worst idea I ever had!  I thought it would be fun, but it's not.  No, I will not buy you a water, the other kids don't get bottles of water...why should you?!  This has been a terrible day!  I am never going on a school trip with you again!"  The little girl was trembling and crying.  They went into a stall together.  I was trembling.  How could a mother talk to her daughter that way?  Ever.  And, in front of her classmates--even worse.  The girl walked out of the stall before her mom.  I touched her arm and said, "It's ok, sweetie."  She gave me a timid smile.  The mom came out, looked at me and didn't say other word. 

I wonder if these moms know how truly blessed they are.

Comfort and Help

The other day I looked up a website my mother-in-law gave me.  She was watching CNN and saw a special on adoption, it talked about an organization called Help Us Adopt (www.helpusadopt.org).  It's a non-profit that provides grants to families with financial difficulties that want to adopt.

I read, and clicked and read and clicked.  It was started by a woman kinda like me, ya know, infertile.  And she has a blog: http://www.aninfertileblonde.com/.  I'm even kinda blonde right now, at least the strands of my hair that I paid to dye blonde. 

I couldn't stop reading and clicking.  And, my thoughts kept coming--how amazing it was that she did this--started such a great organization, blogged about her feelings. Sshe is COMFORTING and HELPING people, many people.  She's helping people achieve their dream of becoming parents.  Wow. 

I've always said that when "this" part of my life is done, I want to help people get through their struggles with infertility.  I'm not sure how I'll do it yet, but I'll somehow make it happen.  I want to comfort others and give them hope. 

I went to bed uplifted.

I went to Bible study the next day.  Our group is doing a study called Brave by Angela Thomas.  I love it.  Down to earth, real, easy to understand.  I started watching the video and I immediately felt like the session was written just for me.  Seriously. 

She talked about fear, the kind of fear that makes you tremble inside.  I know that fear.  She quoted 2 Corinthians 1:4-5.  To paraphrase: The purpose of receiving comfort is so that we may comfort others.  I thought of all of the comfort I have received through our difficult times, due to our faith, family and friends.  It has inspired me to want to comfort others.

She also talked about hope.  Having hope through adversity.  Hope.  A thing called hope. 

It's fun when things in life come together, and through the grief and challenges, I can somehow see clearly.  Even if it is just for a moment.