Fed Up and a Sign

On Friday I was simply fed up.  Too much to do, too much waiting, and where the heck was the baby that was supposed to miraculously join our family??  Where???  I was crabby.  

I think Jamie was getting a little fed up, too (probably due to me talking about me being fed up).  He told me that he prayed that we'd get more information and closure on Friday.  

I had calmed down by the end of the day, and was happily picking Griffin up from daycare early.  We were heading to the library, then to the new ice cream parlor in town.  A little Mommy-Griffin date.  

I took the turn to daycare and was shocked at what I saw.  A mommy dear and her sweet little spotted fawn crossing the road.  I had never seen a deer in Mary's neighborhood.  

This may sound weird, but deer have been a bit of a "sign" for me.  Years ago, before Griffin was conceived, I was frustrated with my inability to get pregnant.  I was on the way home from Bible study and begged God to give me a sign if I'd ever get to be a mom.  Within a minute, a deer and her fawn crossed the road.  Griffin was born about 10 months later.  

During my second pregnancy, I noticed that near the same spot was a fawn on the side of the road, dead.  I miscarried soon after.

When I was doing IVF I was driving home from a movie with friends and saw a field FULL of deer...Maybe 15?  16?  17?  I went in for an ultrasound and had a crazy amount of eggs....15+!

Of course there was the time that I saw the deer with her twin fawns and I still haven't seen my twins show up!  :)

Anyway, I thought that God was giving me a sign that there would be another baby in our future.  And, for those of you that think I am reaching for anything at this point, well, maybe I am.  But, if it keeps me going, sane and positive, I'll hold on to it! 

Brave Girls Club

A friend forwarded me some posts from a great blog called Brave Girls Club.  I appreciate the encouragement along the way...it seems like people know exactly when I need some TLC the most.  I started getting the daily emails from the Brave Girls Club and, wow, do some of them really hit home.  I suggest you check it out.

Adoptive Parents

We've been very fortunate to meet quite a few adoptive parents that have encouraged us, supported us, and showed us the "light at the end of the tunnel"...the completeness of family that we hope to feel some day.  Most of the families that we've spent a significant amount of time visiting with about adoption have young children.  Many times I can "see" our family in theirs. 
About two weeks ago I had a really, really unique experience.  I was spending time with a friend that chose adoption for her first child.  Ironically, that night I was able to meet the child's parents, the ones that adopted her at a few weeks of age.  It was absolutely heartwarming.  The parents told me the story about the call, their rush to get everything ready, and about what a blessing their children (two adopted and one biological) were to their lives.  They had tears in their eyes as they told the story, even thirty years later.  After just minutes of meeting them, they said they couldn't wait to get the update on our situation...to hear about when we got the call.  I've discovered that adoptive parents seem to have an immediate bond, an incredible understanding.
It was enlightening to see firsthand the "circle" of adoption....to see how happy the birth mother was that her child found the right family, and to see the love in the adoptive parents eyes.  So much love for the child, from both sets of parents. 
We keep getting these amazing gifts of encouragement along the way.  What a blessing!

Celebrating with Others

I have a strange little network of people I've never met that are or have struggled with infertility.  One is through Resolve's online support group.  When I was really struggling with what steps to take to grow our family and needed advice, as well as when I was grieving (OK, that occurs daily, but when I really felt like I couldn't get through it) I turned to the online boards and posted comments.  The women understand and are so supportive.

You know I am emotional.  My heart easily swells or breaks for others.  Let's call it compassion.

I don't go on the boards frequently now, but check in from time to time.  Many of the women that I "met" that were struggling with infertility now have babies. 

One story really got me--it was about a family that applied for adoption, and so did their close friends...through the same agency.  The same birth mother met with both of them and selected their friends.  I can't imagine.  They were hurt, but accepted this with grace.  Their friends baby was born, bitter sweet.  Then, just like that, they got a call that they were matched!  I read this and welled up with tears.  I've never met the couple and likely won't ever, but it moved me.  It's so good to see others dreams come true.  And, it makes me realize how quickly things can change....for the better.

On that note, I better go get some work done.  Ya never know when we'll get a call, I gotta get movin'!

Adoption Stories

We've gotten lots of encouragement to follow this path from wonderful adoptive parents that have shared their stories with us. I was fortunate to have lunch with a friend/adoptive parent a few weeks ago. It was great to be able to ask all of the questions that have been running through my head....How did your first meeting go with the birth mother? What did she want to know about you? How challenging was the paperwork? What was your experience like in the hospital? How did you structure your open adoption? How did you cope with the waiting period? She was so supportive and offered to help with questions we have during our adoption process. It will be great to call her when we need advice, or just an ear.

Last weekend we went out for drinks with a couple that adopted through LSS a little over a year ago. Their adoption story was encouraging to hear. I found it really interesting and heartwarming that from beginning to completion, their adoption process was 9 months, just like a pregnancy! They provided us with all of the documents they were given throughout the adoption process and shared their family profile with us. They will be another great resource for us as we travel down this new path.

We have a friend that adopted through foster care, and we have play dates with her and her daughter on a regular basis. It will be nice to have that relationship and someone to get advice from about how to communicate about adoption with our children.